Gay Canadian "X" Party Boy

To Be Continued...

2006-05-01T10:59:00.000-04:00

Yes I'm back after a long break...

Did you think I was gone for good?

I'm sure some of you did...

Not sure what I will do with this site but I will keep it up for the time being...

Nothing really exciting to say other than I've been staying in lots...

Not that that has kept me out of trouble...I only wish

My life is terribly boring these past few months...

Depressed you could say...Avoiding yes...Back in the game you bet!

Delivery

2006-03-22T13:06:00.000-05:00

Ok IS it wrong to order Cheese cake delivery? I've done it I've become to utmost in urban ridiculous....I order take out delivery almost every day! I haven't been in a grocery store in months and months.....I'm one step away from ordering my food delivered every day to my door ready to eat when I get up its there at my door!...

Is this lazy or just privileged I dnt know?...

It has recently come to my attention that my blog at times has been under attack from certain groups! Do I care? NO keep it coming!.....

I lied I don't care what you have to say!
Well some of you but only some!

I live, I'm free!, I'm Gay! I'm into hot man sex! Ya big cocks! The more the better! And I can order delivery Cheese Cake can YOU?

Funny thing is I'm having a new Kitchen put in this week!.....Craziness I have no kitchen today yesterday it was ripped out! Today a guy was jack hammering the walls! Yah fun....now if they where naked that would be even better!

Run Away, turn away! Small town Boy! the answers you seek will never be found here! I WILL UNDERSTAND! Will they?

Mother oh mother what's next! I fear the end is near what next! I don't know! I'm tired of this life style its time for something new!......

Since you came into my life I don't have no self restraint, I'm addicted! I don't know what is in store....All I know is I want more!....Mmmm Hmmm.....Every time I see a drug store baby! Never can tell just as well.....Loving on you loving on me! Its hard time this love will set us free...Never can tell just as well...loving on me! Its hard times......What will be! Coming on me coming on you!

Want to see the behind the scenes, of X Gay Party Boy....Some people like to talk warranted yes or no you decide?

WOW

2006-03-08T00:28:00.000-05:00

I decide to take a long needed break from Blogger land and look you al decide to abandon me! How typical of you gay men! LOL

Can you believe its time to start thinking about PRIDE....

This year I put my support behind

PRISM Toronto....

I've been asked to be involved this year and I'm going to be 100% You can forget about any new guys like RISE getting my support....Long story but when your not treated right you are not going to go back now are YA...Hmmm I'm one to support the new guy and the new ideas but when something is not broke why bother trying to fix it!

macho updates to follow

Spring is in the air I'm hoping soon winter is dragging my ass big time!

Yes an other thing I think I may start doing is turning this blog into a bit of a local gossip rag! Hmmm wouldn't that be funny! Hmm but how far to go! Who was doin who in the baths! Who was snorting what at what party! Hmmm who was haven a hard time of it! Who was not looking there best! Hmmm well on second thought not! I'll leave that to the ones in the community who have nothin better to do do than put down others! C'mon if there not talking about U then U have to be worried I guess!..We will see! Something tells me this is not the case....Inquiring minds don't always want to know! Do They?

ON much consideration I think I'll keep my head up and out A others personal business!

Much love and hugz to you all!

till next time!

2006-02-24T19:00:00.000-05:00

Hey all

Just a little post to let everyone know I'm good!, life is good! Spring fever or the beginnings of it are stirring here or at least fro me!...The new season is starting to rev up..I'm so looking forward to a nice warm patio and some sangria!....Oh the boyz are heading back from Mexico....Ya...So things are picking up....Haven't been tanning much, thinks me is suffering from a bit a S.A.D. so hitting the tanning beds again soon!....

All The Best to you all...

Where ever you are!, be proud of who you are! And don't forget! When your out being oh so gay! To smile! A happy person is a good thing!....

I know I'm tired of the gay thing but hey I've been so uber good! Not been out in well over a month! People are starting to wonder where I am!.......Don't you all worry I'm in fine shape....Haven't shaved in a few weeks though wow how a beard makes a man look different! In my case older ten + years its the grey big time....

me outz

fav thing of the week cheery lip gloss! Chap lips LIP BALM Cherry flavor!

Oh yes Blogger be ware! I have been targeted by a guy who doesn't like the fact I had gay sex pics or sex pics for that matter nude pics on my blog with googles adds..Well I tell you he started a forum up about it and kept updates on his complaint to google! He won and my adds are gone now! Not that I'm bothered really at all!....I made more from blogadds in one month then I did on google adds in the a year plus so who's loss is it! Not mine! Buddy boy who complained can suck my dick....But first let me have not showered for a few days! Hey and while he's at it he can lick my ass to!...Screw him....Nothing better to do I guess what some people get of On I tell You! Google add in dec 20$ hmm so I wonder if they are goingto send that to me!...My adds where always targeted to my readers and I know for a fact that google made lots a cash of me!.....To bad the deal is in there favour!....Don't get me wrong I love google..Its the guy that the issue is about! google adds are on tens of thousands of porn sites!....I bet that guy is busy complaining about his next victim!....

2006-02-19T12:44:00.000-05:00

So, Your Utopia Needs a Language...
By Tristan Davenport
24 October 2005

"The limits of my language stand for the limits of my world."

Ludwig Wittgenstein was overstating his case when he wrote the famous sentence above, but that has not prevented science fiction writers from taking this concept and running with it. Ever since George Orwell, SF authors have been inventing languages to explain or illustrate the alien psychologies of their characters. If Eskimos have fifty or a hundred words for snow, they reason, how many words will future man have for spaceships? If Klingons love only war, will they have even a single word for "love"? Such questions make sense to us because we have swallowed the extreme notion that our language limits, even determines, our way of thinking. This concept is called linguistic determinism. It comes in a strong form—Wittgenstein's absolutism—which science has largely rejected, and a weak form, which has won some acceptance. But it is the strong form that has quietly taken residence in SF, to the point that today no fictional society is complete without a matching language.

rest can be found here if your so inclined....<-more things I spend my time reading!

2006-02-19T12:26:00.000-05:00

My Window Is Your Mirror, My Mirror Is Your Wall, My Wall Is Your Window
By Matthew Cheney
13 February 2006

1.
It usually happens with poetry, but sometimes with certain short stories or novels, too: a student says, "Why can't they just write it so people can understand?" And everyone in the class nods in agreement. Because what we read should be written so that we can understand it. It should not be unduly difficult, it should not make us feel stupid, it should not be what we don't like. It should be accessible, transparent—a clear window on a bright day; not a mirror, not a wall.

Inevitably, the student thinks the writer did it to be confusing. But not just confusing to anybody. No, this is a personal attack. Writers whose work is not accessible to us make it inaccessible against us in particular; they set out to smother us in the gooey depths of our own ignorance. They hate us and want to hurt us.

According to many of my students, such writers were paid very well for their work and were drug addicts. I'm not sure why so many of the high school students I have taught think that poets get rich off their writing, but think this they do. I can understand the accusation of drug addiction more—after all, anybody who writes anything that I would not myself have imagined must be altering their brain, because otherwise how can they imagine something I would not imagine, right?

Right.

2.
There is no such thing as "accessible writing." There is writing that is, under some conditions, accessible to certain audiences. But even that statement is not entirely true, because it presumes we can say that something definitely did or definitely did not communicate everything it was supposed to communicate. ("Supposed to" according to whom?) However, I don't want to get into an abstruse philosophical argument here about whether anything can be defined, etc., because I have a practical point to move toward. Let's just make the stategic decision to accept the statement, "There is writing that is, under some conditions, accessible to certain audiences," and go from there.

3.
Steven Wright: "I was reading the dictionary; I thought it was a poem about everything."

4.
I am at this particular moment working from the assumption that you understand the majority of what I am writing here. I am, then, assuming that most of these sentences are accessible. To do that, I have to make some assumptions about my audience. I assume that you are literate in English, by which I mean not that you can simply decode the denotative meanings of English words, but that you have a mature vocabulary, experience with complex sentences, and at least a basic understanding of expository modes of writing. I assume that you have some ability to follow a logical argument, and that you will judge what I write based on how well I construct that argument. I assume that you are a reader of fiction of some sort (probably science fiction and fantasy, given the venue I'm writing for, but not necessarily) and that you have at least a vague interest in thinking about fiction's writers and audiences (because otherwise why are you still reading this?), and in particular the fiction that grows out of literary traditions in Britain and North America. I'm sure there are other assumptions I am making about you that are less apparent to me, but the basic fact is this: I am assuming you and I are mostly working from the same conventions of communication and a shared body of knowledge.

5.
The accessibility of these sentences has nothing to do with their value. They are not useful or interesting sentences to a child just learning to read (and to whom they are inaccessible), but they are also not likely to be of much use or interest to a graduate student in literary theory, either, at least not if that person is looking for some new and original insight, because, despite the accessibility of these ideas to such a person, there is nothing particularly new or original here.

Perhaps everything I have written so far, despite its likely accessibility to my target audience, is utterly worthless. I'm sure at least one reader thinks so.

6.
To cry that a type of writing "is not accessible" and then to decry that "writing should be accessible" is to make a narcissistic claim. The claim builds off the expectation that what you read should conform to the conventions you know and are most comfortable with. It universalizes personal preferences. It is a totalitarian impulse.

7.
Gertrude Stein: "Clarity is of no importance because nobody listens and nobody knows what you mean no matter what you mean, nor how clearly you mean what you mean. But if you have vitality enough of knowing enough of what you mean, somebody and sometime and sometimes a great many will have to realize that you know what you mean and so they will agree that you mean what you know, what you know you mean, which is as near as anybody can come to understanding any one." (Four in America)

8.
Consider the insults hurled at some pieces of writing. Self-indulgent and masturbatory are two common ones. These are not words used to create dialogue and discussion about a particular work's merits; these are slurs that insist the writer sought to please only herself and that the writer himself is the only person who could possibly find pleasure in that work. Therefore anyone who says otherwise is lying. It is a judgment on both the writer and the audience, and it is damning, because it does not merely say, "I do not like this," but, instead, "I do not like this, and neither can you."

When someone calls a piece of writing "self-indulgent" or "masturbatory," they say more about themselves than they do about the writing or writer being insulted. A person using such terms claims to understand what is going on in the mind of the writer, that, against all evidence, the insulter knows the writer intended to give no pleasure to anybody, that the writer was not solely concerned with giving the imaginary audience their rightful jollies, because the imaginary audience must be composed entirely of clones of the insulter.

9.
The fear of inaccessibility, and the contemptuous insults that arise from that fear, are linked to fears of ignorance, fears that there are things in the world that cannot be grasped, pleasures that are not universal, ideas too complex for every mind to comprehend, beauties visible only to some people, miracles that affect the few.

10.
The push for writing to be "accessible" to a general audience fails to question the assumptions that allow a concept of a "general audience" to make any sense, and it seeks to force writers to work within conventions of writing that may involve compromises the writer does not want (or need) to make.

11.
There might be good reasons to privilege some types of accessibility. A relativistic argument, one that suggests all writing is equally good or bad because no writing can truly communicate, may lead to some intriguing discussions, but it's not practical or even particularly satisfying. People tend to want to judge things, and they tend to want to be able to share both their enthusiasms and their frustrations. To do so we must differentiate, we must create dichotomies and taxonomies, hierarchies and privileges, loves and hates. At the same time, we must criticize each we encounter: each dichotomy, each taxonomy, each hierarchy, each privilege, each love, each hate.

12.
Jonathan Culler: "The ideal would be to contemplate thought directly. Since this cannot be, language should be as transparent as possible. The threat of nontransparency is the danger that, instead of permitting direct contemplation of thought, linguistic signs might arrest the gaze and, by interposing their material form, affect or infect the thought." (On Deconstruction)

13.
There is the danger of fetishizing The New, of praising anything that looks new and different because we so yearn for the new and the different. It may not be the new and the different that we most need. We may need to rediscover old ways of doing things. We may need to remember what has been forgotten. We may need to repair rather than rip, to console rather than castigate. When we are in the grip of these different needs, what is or is not comprehensible will change, and how it is comprehensible, and to what extent, will change as well.

14.
The first time I read William Faulkner's Absalom, Absalom!, I threw it across the room after the first twenty pages. I had never actually thrown a book before, but I couldn't figure out what kind of novel this was, I didn't understand what was happening, I couldn't find a way in, and I felt stupid, a fool. But I also felt guilty for throwing the book, and so I walked over and picked it up and continued reading. After reading thirty more pages, I threw it across the room again. Still, I felt guilty. I picked it up, continued reading. After forty more pages, I threw it across the room again. I screamed. I gnashed my teeth. I whined and moaned. I picked up the book, and continued reading.

It remains my favorite novel, the only book that gives me absolute, euphoric pleasure when I read any page of it.

15.
I was sitting in a graduate seminar recently when a fairly young student and the professor got into an argument about clear prose. The student complained that what we were reading was written in such a way that it excluded most readers, because the language was too complex, the ideas too abstract. He thought that the ideas he had encountered in these dense texts, or at least the ideas he felt most comfortable with, were ones that it could benefit the world at large to know and to understand. It seemed to him that, instead of sharing their knowledge, the academics who had written what we had read were writing in a kind of code for the initiated. He believed that if the ideas were not ones that would be "useful" to "ordinary people" then they were not particularly good ideas.

I wanted to agree with him. I have had similar thoughts when reading difficult texts. I get frustrated, because I lose the ability to know whether what I am reading is worthwhile or whether it is a sham, whether the language matches the complexity of the ideas or whether it masks a profound emptiness.

I could not agree with him. I have struggled for a long time to develop the skills to read complex texts. I am not always successful; in fact, more often than not I fail to comprehend writing I would like to be able to comprehend. Sometimes I get too tired. Sometimes I read too quickly. Sometimes I want easy reading. Sometimes I want to forget about shared conventions, to let them stay invisible and unquestioned. Sometimes I think ideas should be presented in the clearest possible prose, and ideas that are not must be hiding something. Sometimes.

But most writers are not paid well for their work, and most poets are not drug addicts. Great writers strive—they strive for effects of language, they strive to convey complex ideas, they strive to communicate across the gulf of potential incomprehensions lurking between each person. Readers must sometimes strive, too, if they want to reach toward the greater accomplishments of human art and thought. There is a difference between what is easy and what is rewarding, although neither is mutually inclusive or exclusive.

I once also believed that ideas should be useful to ordinary people, but the longer I lived and the more I experienced, the less I was able to define any of the terms such a yearning relied upon.

Useful. Who gets to decide which ideas are useful and which are not?

Ordinary people. Who are they? Have you met them? Where can I find them?

There is a secret lost continent full of ordinary people, and I must go there. I have some ideas that might be useful to them, and some prose I know they will find accessible.

16.
Perhaps what we need is to stop talking about "accessibility," to admit it is a concept that leads us only to insupportable generalizations and insulting accusations.

17.
Communication is all about shared definitions and shared knowledge. But it is also about shared desires, shared fears, and shared experiences.

18.
All writers are rich, and all poets are drug addicts.

Define writers and rich. Define poets, drug, and addicts.

19.
Tell me why you want this to be true.

20.
Tom Lehrer: "I feel that if a person can't communicate, the very least he can do is to shut up."

—for Klaus Milich

2006-02-19T08:01:00.000-05:00

Well this will be my three hundredth and twenty sixth post....

My belly is full I ate an entire large pizza last night and ten wings....Lets just say I had to change my evening ware, throughout the night cause my belly was very big!...LOL

So I've got through the worst of the past week I think and my moods due to my poor judgment in my late night adventures...To put it in any other way would be saying to much at this point!....I know I know speaking in vague terms is not fair to me or you but I find now my blog is not a place I can express my feelings and my true life anymore! This is why I say I'm not happy with what has become of my blog!>>>my doing yes!....

I'm curious how many others who have blogged for as long as I have, have found there blog evolve into something that is now a place that can not reflect there true life or most personal exploits!....

I could for sure tell you that I have been up to no good or that I have been not feeling well! Or in other word tell you the least and you can make your own conclusions! But then that leaves open the possibility that conclusions drawn will be in error! So where does this leave me now! Do I throw it to the wind! Venture forward cautiously choosing to error on the side of caution!....

Its a hard debate I find myself tormented by when it comes to blogging! There was a time when I would post no matter what to the blog I was feeling! But now I just am not sure! I see so many blogs now that are about gossip! The latest trends on fashion and the like! This is not me and what I think blogs are! In fact I found myself venturing to that point here! But as I've said I now don't think its where I am wanting to go! So hence the point I am at now! What to do?...

We will see I guess! I'm thinking in time I can take this blog to its original format or let it continue to evolve!....strange place I know!

Now what to do today!

Laundry! organise my room! watch Olympics!....The Olympics for sure! Go Canada!

Who ever thought the Swiss would beat Canada at hockey! Hmmmm I actually watched the entire game last night....What a game it was....reminded me of the days when I used to go to games all the time!..I miss that rush you feel when your team is on the winning side! that intense feeling or pride! Its a true natural Hi....I like that kind a hi! You know that gut feeling! like when you watch someone wipe out bad you get that deep feeling, ouch! You feel for that person! its instinctual I think! amazing! true human compassion! Pride! Emotion! I strive for it! revel in it! and am envious of it!

So much I want to do

2006-02-18T05:01:00.000-05:00

Tour Egypt for example!

Well I so want to travel, If I could I would spend months wondering around places like Alexandria

I so want to see things like this!

Demonstration of things I like more than just gay

2006-02-18T03:28:00.000-05:00

the man who invented the internet has a blog

An other very cool thing I found is PLAZES

If I'm to continue this blog it will be, have to be more in tune with what interests me on a more broad spectrum....Hey its my choice right I just hope it is what others will like to see.....

I also wanted to re post some interesting pics I found.....

Some of you may noticed I deleted my last post, well the story goes I have recently received an email from reader who has made me really think about what I share here!...You know who you are please respond to my last email! Someone Questioning? I really want to know more about what you! And what this is about?

Also on some other sites I gave a bit to much info out about me and where exactly I am so this has caused me some concern as well....I'll get over it, I almost have really I have! The thing Is, I have lost a sense of personal privacy I didn't think I had or realized was there to begin with!....

Anyway enough said I have to get back to my life tomorrow after a much needed rest the past week or so!...

Later peeps....

oh yes another interesting blog I found is...

walkah's blog I'm always envious of men like this as I wonder where my life turned that I didn't get to this point or was not able to..As I remember when I was a young lad being so driven in the academics..I do have an Hi IQ and have done and do do very well at what I put my mind to....Its just for some reason I have a point I let my self get to and then self destruct! Need to figure out this part A me and fix that! Soon really soon cause I'm tired of the same old same old everything has lost its interest to me this past while...I'm bored very bored.................Need a new direction in life....I think I will regroup my efforts in my charity work....I wish others I know who are so fast to judge me would focus there energy in that direction! As there are plenty of things needing to be done, Of course there is the glamorous get your name in the paper positions....But hey when it comes right down to it its the grunt hard labor that needs doing! And who is that guy its most often me!....Anyway....

Ok need my sleeps

later again!....

Oh yes I'm feeling Ok again! Up down I go the winter is taking a toll on this Vancouver Boy! Yah me go back my tail between my legs no I don't think so!...

Its time I think

2006-02-17T23:54:00.000-05:00

Well

After three years almost I think it may be time to retire this site!

I'm not sure yet but, I'm getting hi numbers of hits but its not about that!

I'm not sure how I feel about this site anymore...Or what it has become!

I've seen some of my critics have been busy talking about me....I really am not bothered by them.....When you put you life out on the net people will talk I know this....

Its just that I'm thinking about a new and uncertain future.....I'm not sure about the road ahead anymore.....I'm tired of the so called gay life! Is that possible...

Not men but the entire everything that goes along with it....Maybe I just need a break I don't know....I'm not as sure as I used to be.....

So I'm stepping back for a little while, I'll still be there don't you all think I'm goin away! I'm still going to be doin my things....I'm just goin to be in the back ground for a while....Its better that way for my sanity......

Its time for an reinvention!....I'm oh so good at that!

I'm outz....

2006-01-27T10:05:00.000-05:00

Join me tonight for a faboulous night of danceing at Fly NightClub here in the Mega City Toronto.....

I'll be there with free bees from Manhunt.net.....

Its going to be a fun night and one of many this year that I will be invovled with....

See You out there....

Internal torments abundant.....

2006-01-26T06:01:00.000-05:00

As I once again face times in life that present me with challenges, I think to my self in self imposed solitude...What do I get if I venture down past roads traveled long ago....Pain, sorrow and loss! This I see only in the journey ahead....So what road do I choose the answer seems so simple! Do I forget and move on those who have been my friends and are, like so many times before? I'm torn inside what to do...What to do.....I've found some pictures that best I think shows my feelings this past few weeks......Please know I'm ok just pondering my future, who is in it and who isn't! Trying to do the good thing...Like I always do! Its just hard to let go.........Even more hard to put me first and think of only me.....

let me go don't bring me down this road again...I've seen this place before! Its a horrid place full of pain and sorrow, stop it! No not again..I'm to strong now to not learn from past mistakes....Strong...to strong...keep saying it! Yes..you keep saying it!...You know this! You know all to well! Your evil grip will not hold me ever again! ahhhhh there we go the light I see it! C'mon run with me! I'll hold your hand, I'll hold you when you cry! I'll catch you when you fall!...I wont let go trust me...Run hurry..Before its to late...I can only wait for so long!...This time its do or die!....I choose not to die!

Moving on again

2006-01-25T19:52:00.000-05:00

Its not often I find a blog I can relate to in such a way that I find the need to read the entire blog....

This is one

Acid Refux life and times of a poz guy

His post on dec 13/2006 rings so true...I find this drug lurking around every corner this past few weeks and am very very bothered by it.....

I think I will have to do what I did long ago to protect myself from it and move on I can't afford the hell that is her.....

Trying times are ahead for me but I will survive....

images found at Greek gay Lolita & Life or Meth and other places

Its 5ive O Matic Tonight

2006-01-20T17:36:00.000-05:00

Hey All Feeling Good again Life is back to normal...Well what I define as normal to others it would be shocking I'm sure..On the edge as per......

Tonight join me a 5ive Nightclub in the Megacity center in Toronto for the now famous and for sure infamous Friday night....

Where my new fave gal Resident DJ Sydney Blu will be pumping the tunes, there is something about her tunes that keeps the boyz a coming.....She is just good and well you in my opinion must here her.....

I may be persuaded to send a couple of her CD's to you from a CD launch gig I helped with..Just email me....

In case any of you are curious why I haven't been putting up pics from my adventures through Toronto's village and night club scene well my camera was stolen out a my bag, At Remington's So if your ever there I strongly advise you to watch your things....

So I'm busy trying to find a new camera..There are just so many to choose from...

I'm outz...

Super weekend to you all around the world...Peace..Love & hot Boyzzz LOL

Under the weather

2006-01-18T03:32:00.000-05:00

Australia Collingwood, Victoria 16,256 km from me wow it amazes me the hits I'm getting from just about every where! Welcome everyone to my blog from around the world and especially today Australia!...My common wealth brothers.....Love my mates down there!

Some pics I found over the past few days and a short post below what I'm up to this past few weeks!

p>

Been not feeling so good the past week or two.....Hence my not posting very often...
I think its a bit of the winter blues....I haven't been taking care of my self lately very well, I go through this every few months for some reason! I just let my self go and can't seem to get out a bed....This time I know the cause to much going out and long nights, they are just going to have to stop its not productive and I feel not well....I think I'm on my way out a them soon!

Met a very interesting guy over the past weekend....Who get this! Wants to talk and even better thinks IM sexy..Not that I'm not..LOL! But the thing is I think he is too..That's important to me...No more men in my life I'm not attracted to its just not fair to him or me....He is totally my type a guy, we will see what happens! We have a few things in common so far that are important and make things so much easier... I'm keeping my schedule open the next while....

Ok...Gentlemen and ladies.....

Look for more posts asap...

Plus I have my new logo done and will be sharing it soon with you all....I'm very excited about that and also will soon have my own flyers and bizz cards soon o promote this site and my bizz ventures....How cool is that!

I'm outz

Thursday Nights Surfing.........

2006-01-12T19:23:00.000-05:00

join me Tonight at Woody's for the Manhunt.net best Chest Contest...

BlogAds.....Get me Wet...

2006-01-10T13:27:00.000-05:00

I would like to welcome My newest additions to the blog....

My BlogAds.....

Please check out my sponsors....They help me to keep this blog up and going, I love this blog but at times need a bit of encouragement to keep it up and they are certainly making it more easy to invest the time needed to keep a blog going.....

I think its kind A cool to have been blogging for as long as I have and to have it turn into such a little business so to speak.....

That being said please take a look at my Blog Ads...

So far I have an awesome resort from Key West, Who have been on here for a few weeks now, They have offered me a free stay at there resort...How cool is that! They are great guys.....I'll be going there soon for sure....RJ at What The has been there many times and has nothing but the best to say about the place, So I'll for sure be going to take a look very soon, Its about time for a well deserved break from the cold up here in frozen Canada.....I've wanted to go to Florida for some time where better to go than Key West!....

And then there are poopers, what gay man doesn't need some of them....And how easy is it to just have them delivered to your door......I have recently used Ebay and ordered stuff online with my new Master Card and love the convince of having what I need delivered....I get UPS shipments all the time and its never been a problem not one time...
In fact I'm busy on Ebay trying to find a Camera.....

I'll never forget the first time I was introduced to poopers, I was fresh out a the closet, a guy had picked me up in the park in Kamloops....He was super hot...All muscular....Took me home and talked all nasty to me....Jerked off all over me while he asked me if I liked his big hot manly muscles and is hot dick...I'll never forget him, and the fact he introduced me to poopers I had no idea what they where! And if only I had figured out what he was talking about when he asked me what I wanted to do with my dick, while he was bent over the bed but in the air.....Oh man...Anyway hot times them old days in the park.....Every time I have a bottle a poopers in the mix I think a that Hot night....

Till next time peeps...

I'm outz...

want to chat with me ad me to Your MSN torjok at hotmail dot com

Thursday Nights Surfing.........

2006-01-06T14:49:00.000-05:00

Wood Street, My Move, And Yes Hockey......

2006-01-05T02:00:00.000-05:00

Well after a very long day I'm in the new apartment....My last move I hope for a very long time...I had a few friends come over and help.....Thank You my dearest Ashley....pics a her below..U know my gay pal.....Much love baby.....

So I can see into every window on Maitland street..A voyeurs fantasy come true...LOL..There must be a thousand plus apartments in close view with thousands more very close.....Hmmm binoculars are a must....Hmmmm...Only thing is now I'm so hi up the neighbours wont be able to watch me late at night up to naughty boy things, oh well..Ha lol.....And after sharing a one bedroom with me best bud...Its going to be oh so fabulous to have my own room again....Yessss..The 1700 a month is worth it....

and no more big smoke stack right beside me from Maple leaf Gardens..Soon to be Maple leaf shopping center..My word.....I bet there are many hockey fans oh to upset about that...Not me in a while I'll have one a the largest food stores an elevator ride away...I love..It....At the same time Its a shame as I grew up watching hockey being played there, I am a hockey fan and for Years used to play when I was a kid in fact almost every day! Bet ya all are surprised on that one...When I was a teen I used to hold season tickets to the Kamloops Blazers and go all the time...Loved it...My seats where behind the hometeam players bench..I especially loved the manly smells..Mmm The hockey boys are hot...I have many fond memories of lusting over the junior hockey team boys....In fact I a few times wondered into there dressing room by accident of course when they caught me...I did go to hi school with many of them who are now in the NHL...Hmmmm to think I saw them naked in PE class.....

You can get a good feel of my hood here.....

I'm one happy boy today....Now that I will be able to get some good nights sleep look for much more posts asap on the blog.....

Here is a bit a history about my street for those out there who are into this stuff its really cool to live on a street named after such a interesting guy.....

Sculpture honours gay magistrate from 1800s
Last Updated Mon, 30 May 2005 08:38:48 EDT
CBC News
TORONTO - A bronze sculpture of one of the country's first openly homosexual public figures has been unveiled in Toronto's gay village.

Hundreds of people attended a parade and ceremony on Saturday to honour Alexander Wood, a 19th-century magistrate who owned land in what has become the city's gay neighbourhood.

The bronze sculpture of Alexander Wood.
Wood, one of Toronto's founding fathers, made no particular attempts to hide the fact that he was gay ?? a highly unusual move at a time when homosexuality was a criminal offence punishable by death.

"He's very important to our community because of what he's done in his past," said Dennis O'Connor, chair of the Church-Wellesley Village Business Improvement Area.

The organization chose Wood for the 2.5-metre-high monument because it sees him as a forefather of the gay community and because of his connections to the area.

"We have a historical link to this neighbourhood that goes back over 200 years," O'Connor told CBC News.

Wood emigrated from Scotland and travelled to Toronto, then known as York, in the late 1700s. He became a prominent merchant and was appointed as a magistrate in 1800.

However, he was driven out of the country a decade later over allegations that arose while he was investigating a rape.

"He had a woman who showed up before him who complained of a rape and said she had scratched the genitals of a young militiaman," O'Connor said.

"As the magistrate, being overzealous I suppose, he decided he would go to Fort York and personally inspect some of the genitals of these young militiamen."

Several of the young soldiers accused him of fondling them and Wood was given the choice of facing sodomy charges or leaving Upper Canada. He returned to Scotland.

Wood became known for the scandal, but some historians say he should be remembered for much more.

"He's noteworthy in a couple of respects," said Mary Rae Chance, a historian with the Toronto Reference Library.

"He's a very significant player in the development of the town of York and the history of Toronto. He was involved in everything from the Toronto Library to the Bank of Upper Canada."

Wood returned to Canada two years later without facing charges and resumed his position as magistrate.

He fought in the War of 1812 and served on a number of boards.

He eventually purchased a parcel of land that included the area where his statue is now located, at the corner of Church and Alexander streets. The latter is named after him.

In his time, Wood was sometimes called a "molly" ?? a derogatory word for homosexual.

He eventually returned to Scotland, where he died in 1846.

Ontario artist Del Newbigging created the statue of Wood.

Its $200,000 cost was shared by the Church-Wellesley Village BIA and the city.

Happy New Year to U all....

2006-01-04T12:42:00.000-05:00

Hot guy of the day!!!....Nummmm isn't he sexy?

A big wet kiss To You allll....

This pic was taken last December some time, Me out with a friend Eddy.....

Its moving day For Me I'm moving into a new apartment in My building way way up....
so Happy friends of mine in the Greater metro Toronto area look for your evite to my house warming web site launch Bash coming soon.....

Ok I'm of to pack my things and get my self to the new digs...

Later

Hugz......

My Thursday night surfing....

2005-12-30T03:21:00.000-05:00

Gay Pimp - Soccer Practice

I had to share this its to funny.......

Gay Pimp - Lookin Cute Feelin' Cute

Ari Gold - Wave Of You-

gay song

gay boyfriend

hard_gay_intro its funny not in English ...

2005-12-29T22:21:00.000-05:00

Found this site a little while ago and am loving the tunes coming from them....
worth a look at for sure....

WFAG RADIO

High5Youth

2005-12-29T05:33:00.000-05:00

I want to share this with you...

high5Youth...

Look for more info on this new and very interesting project, I have had the pleasure of meeting the founder and have pledged my help behind him and his most fabulous web site!

I'm looking further into it and think U should to!....

LXIV. A Last Retrospect

2005-12-29T05:06:00.000-05:00

I got a most interesting email, I'm not sure yet who sent it but I think I know and understand what it was about..I think...am I going crazy or what? It could have just been junk email I don't know....

It had an altered version of this story...

Charles Dickens. (1812–1870). David Copperfield.
The Harvard Classics Shelf of Fiction. 1917.

LXIV. A Last Retrospect

AND now my written story ends. I look back, once more—for the last time—before I close these leaves. 1
I see myself, with Agnes at my side, journeying along the road of life. I see our children and our friends around us; and I hear the roar of many voices, not indifferent to me as I travel on. 2
What faces are the most distinct to me in the fleeting crowd? Lo, these; all turning to me as I ask my thoughts the question! 3
Here is my aunt, in stronger spectacles, an old woman of four-score years and more, but upright yet, and a steady walker of six miles at a stretch in winter weather. 4
Always with her, here comes Peggotty, my good old nurse, likewise in spectacles, accustomed to do needlework at night very close to the lamp, but never sitting down to it without a bit of wax-candle, a yard measure in a little house, and a work-box with a picture of St. Paul’s upon the lid. 5

The cheeks and arms of Peggotty, so hard and red in my childish days, when I wondered why the birds didn’t peck her in preference to apples, are shrivelled now; and her eyes, that used to darken their whole neighbourhood in her face, are fainter (though they glitter still); but her rough forefinger, which I once associated with a pocket nutmeggrater, is just the same, and when I see my least child catching at it as it totters from my aunt to her, I think of our little parlour at home, when I could scarcely walk. My aunt’s old disappointment is set right, now. She is godmother to a real living Betsy Trotwood; and Dora (the next in order) says she spoils her.

continue here
ok I'm of to bed....

Artist to share

2005-12-29T02:43:00.000-05:00

this image found here
First I want everyone to know I wish them all a very happy new year and a prosperous future.....

I have been riveted by this new drama on my local digital TV called Sleeper cell!, It actually brought me to tears after watching the first nine episodes this past few weeks and the tenth this evening..I must say I have a much deeper appreciation for what is going on in the word from deferring perspective, All though this show is very American in its points of view I really think one with a critical thinking background can take much more out of it than what is shown visually or story line wise.....It really made me think about my points of view on the whole state of the world and what is going on...This program actually made me cry..And that doesn't happen very often....It really made me think hard, this is something I truly admire in a show and why I'm sharing this with you all...(note U can find this program on line if you know how)

I only hope that we never see a day that what this show shows us come to be, as the world I think would not be ready for an United States of America or its allies reaction to such evil...It really saddens me that that there are people out there that wish harm on us and are way of life....

So that being said I wish the world peace and strongly urge any and all to see this series....

Now on to some art I found by artist Maria J. William

...You can find out more here I really like the first one as I think it depicts someone who is trying to see good in a world that presents only bad to them...And the hope that after they see that good it opens up other doors in there lives...When your surrounded by darkness its easy to see the light but only if your looking, some of us are so lost in the dark that we can no longer even know the light exists!

SO that being said I offer to you my light at the end...Just come to me, see my light..I offer you me. I'll be there please stop what your doing and I'll be there but not until.......In other words this image represents the bitch and how over powering she can be....The little flower is hope....Many of you may know what that means some not, the ones who do are the important one here..... "The Secret Desires Of Demons
Media: watercolor, colored pencils, sepia
Sometimes demons, too, long for beauty and peace."

this next one I'll leave my interpretation to my self "Wings

Media: oil on illustration board

I usually prefer to leave the meaning of my paintings open to interpretation, but lots of people have asked me about this one, so I'll answer. The basic idea was to convey the feelings of those who feel trapped in a life they did not create for themselves, those who are trying to break free, or at least pretend they're someone else. "

that it for now I'm still feeling ill and have been in bed for days now....Hopefully I will be back in fine shape soon, I was out Sunday thinking I was better only to be slapped in the face reminded that my body doesn't heal as fast as it used to...You think I would learn my lessons, thank goodness for past experiences and my vain vain vanity or I would let past mistakes go un headed as some do I just can't let my body get run down My future and my past will not let that happen. So I rest and hope for a better day tomorrow....Sleep induced or not is a good thing...

one last thing for today

a referring URL I wanted to share that I find most interesting....I think it shows a point of evolution on the internet.....A fine site worth investigating, and I do say so myself! That I do....C'mon please it's me here!

OpinMind

Not another blog search engine, right? Well, if you’ve used Opinmind already, you’ve seen that we’re not your everyday blog search engine. Type any subject into our search box and you’ll find people with opinions (good and bad) on your topic of interest.

2005-12-24T21:23:00.000-05:00

Happy Holidays to every one...

Me is sick as a dawg, got some kind of cold/flu....

So in LU of a post about anything in particular I thought I would share some pics I have found over the years I like A lot...You will see from the pics I have a thing for guys in B caps among other things......

Reflections on me & LA trip to the Matrix

2005-12-19T09:17:00.000-05:00

the ticket...Still can't believe I was there!(more pics below)

So a bit of reflection on me!....

Today for breakfast I'm drinking A&W root beer..nummy...And last nights blue cheese stuffed burgers made from scratch..Hey You all know I am a professionally trained chef! Oh ya in another day I was/did go to cooking school for a years +..Now you know more is that possible? Yeeeessssssssss

feeling the bubbles...ohhh ya love them bubbles......

UPS was in the house today...yessss...Shopping is me today....

I find my self in a strange state of mind....

No I'm not on drugs?

A shout out to FLY and the crew behind Dance CAMP last Friday here in Toronto, I had a great night and am looking very forward to next month and my official involvement....Fun crowd good people and a kick ass DJ..What else could you want on a Friday night!

Also don't forget to vote for me on BEST GAY BLOGS!!!!! <- I love them guys...thanks again!

Back to me..cause you all know its all about me here! LOL You could say happy but reluctant? Does that make sense? anyway its strange to not be sort of angry or upset most of the time......I guess I'm coming out of a long dark time in my life and its a good thing......I'm doing things I like and see my life going places, I haven't talked about this for a while but my health is good....

I'm so after two plus years of dealing with pancreatitis over it...I'm almost of the pain meds and feeling more and more with energy..make sense? with energy!...a natural Hi is the way to be.....Life is funny that way you get the best feelings out of it if you put something into it!

songs that fit my mood....
Madonna - Die Another Day (Deepsky Remix)Blood is Pumpin' 2005 (Tribal mix) Voodoo & SeranoMake The World Go Round (Deep Dish Vocal Mix)Sandy BParty In The Morgue (Club Mix) Thee Undatakerz Blade: Trinity OSTTake Me To The Clouds Above LMC vs. U2Waves Of Luv (The Disco Boys Full Vocal 2Black Dance Max 2005.02John Legend - No Ordinary People (Bootleg Remix - DStoreMix Radio rip)..Sunrise (JJ Stockholm Club Mix) Angel CitySunny Boogie Pimps remix heaven 2005First Time Liquid Dance Trance Voices Vol 4Find My Way Back Diana King Break Your Heart 2
janet jackson - Together again (Dance Club Remix)
All Things (Barry Harris) Widelife featuring Simone Denny (a friend a mine!)

I'm going to start putting together a monthly cd of my favourite music and send it to 5 readers any where in the world...so the first five to email me after this post will receive it.....how cool is that...personally signed by me with a special picture of me and my crew.....Plus if there is ever a DJ u see me talk about and want a promo cd let me know and I'll try and send one to You....You know I love my readers so its no problem....Its all about helping others and there is some good stuff coming out a Toronto....

Trust me there have been days this past few years where I was not sure about the future.....

A new year is upon the horizon and I see nothing but growth and prosperity for me and everyone around me...As I'm all about that....Giving and sharing what I am and what I have....

Now the next step is to find that special person to share with....I think I can build my empire and have a man in my life? distractions of a good kind are welcome!

Life is good and can be if you are recently poz don't despair! there is a future being poz this I have found out with much much pain so trust me its not the end just a new beginning!

In less than two weeks I'm moving into a fabulous two bedroom penthouse here in Toronto...I'm way happy about that! its about freaking time I have a palace again in the sky again its been a few years....last one I lived in was in Vancouver my bed was against a glass wall! Would wake up and scream thinking I was dropping 30 floors it was wild..I loved it....

Now on to the blog....If You haven't noticed its getting very very busy around here! There is a good reason I've been actively promoting it....The blog is still about me and my life.. I have noticed over the past few years many blogs have evolved into a marketing platform...I struggled with the idea to keep this blog just about me and not bring my business into it....I had to a point but never as far as it has become....

The new buzz word is "The New Media"....I agree! I see nothing wrong with tying in my adventures in my personal and business life..really how much is personnel in are time?....and is there an issue there? I don't think so...we are as a species that are communal, we need to know about others, and I need to tell others what I'm doing. As I've said before this blog is an extension of myself into the world.....Like I've always said this is me and know you are all getting 100%...Many blogs out there are one or the other....My format I think is different than most as I tie in every aspect of what I'm up to personal and not so....

I'm actually very happy the way the blog is evolving and see it as a natural evolution....and a sign of my well being....that it is growing and taking on a life of its own.... Seen as its all about me I wanted to share some pics from a trip I took to LA to see the World Premiere of the Matrix Revolutions......It was an amazing trip..... Some of the things that stand out for me about the trip are
-flying on Israeli air lines....
-trying Jewish food on the plain for the first time....
-seeing the oil pumps in the hills in LA...
-hotel only a block from Santa Monica BLVD....How cool was that
-taking a boy back to the hotel and not even remembering..LOL friend kicked him out
-The pre and after party....
-the Matrix cocktails...green of course...
-the food at the premiere every kind a food in the world and as much as you wanted...
-the red carpet...Me walking down the red carpet! celeb want a be is me! and why not!
-seeing the stars in the film..meeting them..hanging out with every Celeb in LA that was there...
-the Walt Disney Concert hall...very sexy building..it had just opened..
-the way the crowd during the film applauded after every big scene ...
-the airport in LA and all the cars..busses it was crazy...
-the security on ELAL airlines was super super heavy..three hours of searching and questions...
-300 dollars us on cabs in two days...
-being able to take my buddy who is in the film business..who edits Fashion television and star TV here in Toronto..How cool was that!
-seeing a former employer of mine at a club called Mickey's..that was strange?
-getting back to Toronto and wanting to get back on the plane! it was cold here...
-the fact the city was undera halo of smoke as the hills where burning!
Me on the Hotel roof top..Ya LA Baby wishing I was there right now The Wyndham Belage...Where 90210 was filmed....
Me on the roof top looking fab and hung over baby.....Oh what a trip
there is my future local...I'm LA bound one day! You know it!

Didn't go to the Viper Room was on my way to Santa Monica BLVD

loved this bar..This is where I saw my boss from a B&B I worked at and where I picked up a hot boy who's number I still have I should call him? If I could only remember his name! .LOL
Here is a guy I call a good friend...He is the Guy who edits Fashion Television and Star TV here in Toronto for City TV..His name is Jason..Love You

Here I am just after breakfast at I HOP on the strip not wanting to go to the airport....What a life it is going on trips like this....And it was a once in a life time trip I will never forget!

OK I'm outz

Happy Holidays to all every where all over the world....Spread the Love! That's what its all about!....

Dance Camp

2005-12-16T12:20:00.000-05:00

Like I've said it never stops the machine of Party Boy...

My next step is into FLY, as some of you may know I used to work there as a buss boy several years ago..So this is yet another amazing step for me in my journey to take over...LOL serious though...Its a great night Come out say Hi look for me there from 11pm on...I'll be taking pics of all the hot boyz/girls to send out to the world....
My involvement tonight will be as Manhunt.net's rep....U can't miss me I'll be sporting my signature Manhunt royal blue T....if U ask I'll have one for U to...
I'm there only to check out the night as we are comeing on board next year......

My first Christmas card today!

2005-12-16T09:05:00.000-05:00

Got my first Christmas card Today.....

U never going to guess from who.....

COLT

I love it my gay world/life..Its not everyone who can say they get Christmas cards from a major gay company like COLT...How freaking cool is that! A look into my life....For U all to see....I am Me...100% and I like me...U like Me...I know U do.....Who wouldn't...LOL...If U have been A long time reader here at my life U Will know I've come far this past few months..And I can say I'm proud a my self......

Plus got my Christmas bonus from Manhunt...That was a nice happy thing to....I'm happy damit can that be....Yah.....For sure....

But serious.....I'm feeling the happy holiday thing for the first time in Years! Its a very very GOOD thing....
spread the love.....
Have a great day all.....
I'm outz to build my empire....

Oh yes one thing I haven't said in a while...I love my American friends....Don't pay no mind to our local election rhetoric about U guys down there..Canadian politics can be nasty just like any where..If U don't know what I'm talking about than your not missing anything! Peace!

Come to the Temple......

2005-12-15T19:25:00.000-05:00

A few months back I was asked to help out with a few friends event called Temple here in Toronto.....

Well its time again for Temple, I'm not involved this time but will for sure in the future...

So this time I will put my support behind the event by inviting you all to come out and say Hi.....As I'll not be working this event this time I will be able to enjoy myself as a guest...Wow what a concept..To be able to go to a party and not actually have to work...Please...You all know me I'll be working it....

If you see me say hi and get a pic taken with me, You can be on my blog...You know U want to..LOL

I was actually asked to be involved with this event but decided to turn down the event! The first time I've done that....A very smart man told me not to take to much on...As if you spread your self to thin your work suffers...And seen as there is only one a me....Well enough said...As you al know I've been involved with almost every major event in Toronto this year! I need a break! Well the events I consider major!..Note to my critics...

TEMPLE.....I'll be there...Cum by and see me there....I'll be sporting my new fab hair due, and be celebrating my newest ventures...More to come on that!...

Here are some pics I took of some fab friends at the Temple Halloween event I worked for Manhunt.net one of the main sponsors....

Look its my darlings..Ashley....She's like where is the money bitch...Not she actually works for me sometimes one a my best employee's and you all know she is my fav gal pal.....

Here is Ashley and GG an other local promoter who I've worked with on many occasions....

To see all my Temple pics look at my WEBSHOTS page
This guy used to me a room-mate of mine, we had a big house 3500 a month way to much, Dam what was his name again Oh ya Victor, one a them friends who just decided to not talk to me anymore...Hmm guess I was not good enough for him who knows actually........Not
And here is DJ Sum.....Looking fab as per....

Ok I'm outz...

Its a big day for me tomorrow.....
I'm as I do every two weeks waiting for UPS, and after that shopping, a couple meetings..And then my hair....Hmmmm I've just decided its time to do something new.....I'm thinking I'm going to do some deep dark red hi lights with some alternating bleached out chunks....If I can remember! I'll try and get an after pic of me this time....

later

And Happy Holidays to you all....
If your like me and you don't have a actual family to see, then do as me and keep your friends close they are my family..I love my friends with all my heart...100% no matter what happens..True friends are forever in my books...And I have big books....

Best Gay Blogs

2005-12-15T13:30:00.000-05:00

Wow....I'm very happy to announce!!!!

I've been nominated for an award from

Best Gay Blogs......

Click on #3

What is the Best gay Blog!....Vote for me....

I must say I'm very very honored to be nominated among such a fine group of bloggers, I'm not sure I even deserve to be listed but there I am.....

I've been working hard at the blog and will be continuing to do so! Infact going corporate soon or at least will have my first official sponsor coming on board very soon...Plus look for a new design coming soon.....

Wish me luck! Tomorrow I'm going to present my ideas to the strip club here in Toronto......Who knows I could be the next strip club tycoon.....Lets just hope the other night when I was there I didn't make to much of a scene when the drinks started to hit me...Oh gad did I do that again........Hint to others when going out for dinner with a friend...Start with dinner not drinks.....

Thanks Guys.....

Extreme tricking

2005-12-10T18:29:00.000-05:00

Hi all....

So what am I up to you are all thinking.....

Well I'm in the throws of research for a most promising new client.....

I've been asked by a local gay strip club here in Toronto to come up with ideas for several nights a week......Funny thing is I used to work there as a buss boy So I'm very excited to come back and show them what I can do.....I can renovate the place what ever needs to be done, sounds like I've been given lots a leeway to be creative.. Seen as I held one the most successful parties at Woody's in years a few years ago, invovleing the porn/adult industry I have a lot to live up to and well, that's not a problem I just hope they are ready for my ideas......More to come on that......Full on shameless promotion...Hard full fast...Fierce is me....Can You handle it....Ah Ya you can I know you all can......Like I said I'm takin over ohhh Yaaaa! This is a another big step for me and an amazing opportunity.....
If U all have any links to your local hot gay strip club please please send them to me.......

So I've been fascinated the past few days with Extreme tricking and the martial art and erotic gay comic/pics.......I've been contemplating joining an martial arts class....Well I have for years but now more so than ever.....

Like any self respecting young gay man I played video games for hours a day when I was a teen, I've lost the addiction this past several years put these pics make me want to get back into them......Ouch how hot.......Imagine your favorite RPG games character's looking like these boys....

This past Thursday like every second Thursday of the month it was Best Chest at Woody's here in Toronto, Canada's premere gay bar.....I had a great time networking and snapping pics as well covering the best chest for you guessed it Manhunt.net.....
So I of course took some pictures like I always do...Some guy even gave me a Oh he's a photographer when I bumped into him...Funny....

This picture is the main Guy behind Mancandy.ca.....And well there is me at Woody's....If you need to feel the vibe of Toronto's DJ/music scene check out the radio at Mancandy....Not that I know some of the DJ's who are friends of mine or anything, They are just good, and its Toronto...How else to get to know a culture than to listen to the Music we listen to....Hot for sure with out a thought! So cute love them Blue eyes....I have been invited to the Mancandy studio I should go soon........That reminds me I've been asked to interview a local band for a LA magazine a friend is the editor/publisher of......More to come on that!~

Seen as some boys who go out to gay bars don't like there pics shot I am only able to show the Queens, So here are a few pics of them doing there thing at Woody's Manhunt.net Best Chest Night...Love my Queens....Where would we be with out them....They are so much a part of what makes a night happen or not!.....

After a very good night at Woody`s it was time to head over to Crews for a few and chill....Love this Queen, Sylvia I believe....She is fab...

Ahhh and here at the end of the night is Donnarama.....Doesn`t she look coold....Its so winter here we are all freezing are buts up here I tell Ya....

Ok I`m outz its laundry night for me One month or more of laundry ....Oh did I say that..I can`t believe how much clothes I`ve accumulated.....

Have a super weekend and be good! Not.....

Im outz

What I'm Listening to.....

La Fiesta (Peter Presta's SF Apple Jaxx Mix)

People Are People (white label 12' mix)

Cry Little Sister (I Need You Now) The Lost Brothers

Take Me To The Club Mannequin Party Monster

All Night Long Lasgo Dance Max 2005.02

Attention! (Future Funk Remix) Commander Tom The Very Best Euphoric Funky House Breakdown CD1

Beat Bangs! Pulsedriver Trance Arena 5

Blood is Pumpin' 2005 (Tribal mix) Voodoo & Serano

Pics from Manhunt World tour Toronto

2005-12-08T01:52:00.000-05:00

I'm still learning!, its hard to take pictures in dark places...Seen as every time I'm out taking pictures its dark, I'm learning fast how to use photo editor programs especially....

Here is DJ Bill Bennett looking down at the dance floor admiring his work....
Ah here I am behind the stage while a show is being put on, love them all access media passes!.....How cool was that I've been all over the place the last few years at many events this one was one of the best so far...Looks to me like a rope demo......
an interesting shot of the DJ's booth.....
here is some work related stuff, one thing I do is place banners at the events.....This one was at the entrance to the event! Very well placed I think....
more work stuff look at how I folded all them shirts this was just a few of them I gave out well over a 1000 at the end of the night.....
and lastly here is a shot of the dance floor full of half naked men all in leather how sexy is that!

since I started adding pictures to the list of things I do. I'm now getting requests for pics I've shot..I love it....Now all I need is to get myself a nice new camera that takes hi res pics in the dark with a really good flash thingy....Hmmm who knows maybe I'll get one from Santa..ya right?

Christmas is coming not the most happy time a year for me...But I think this year will be different seen as I have lots to be happy for this year...We will see....If anything I should keep busy out there doing my thing...That makes me happy for sure....

I've been going crazy editing pics so if U like what U see I'll be adding many more, I have pics from several events I've not even talked about here yet.....Some I have like the Temple event I'll post them soon....Plus pics from my trip to LA a couple years ago now, when I was there to see the World premier of the Matrix III...That was a freaking outrageous trip I tell U.....I scanned the tickets and everything....

I'm outz....

oh ya if U want to see all the pictures from the Manhunt World Tour Toronto take a look here....At my WEBSHOTS page

Some linky love for You all + new pics

2005-12-07T07:44:00.000-05:00

Here is a picture of a good friend of mine ..., Hmm Nummmm Oh ya he DJs at a local club here in Toronto named Crews....When ever I have a night of I'm there to see him....
Here is another pic from the Manhunt World Tour here in Toronto,Its me with the DJ in the DJ booth hi above the crowd now that was cool up there looking down at all the hot men....Sometimes I love being me! I've Been up all night editing them to send out to the world...This one is in red? Why because I think It looks good...LOL serious though many more to come I Need to get some sleep me still very sic my throat feels like its going to explode..So sore....blah....

Check out some new finds of mine....U know U wana...Over there to the right...

that's it over there ----->>>>>>

I especially like this one...

Greek lolita

It takes a few seconds to load but worth the wait......

My famous hair Doo....

2005-12-06T18:55:00.000-05:00

Ahh look who it is in the background! Its Ashley my dearest gal pall!! She kept me company the entire two plus hours it took to create my fabulous hair doo! The two plus hours I do every few weeks....Little secret I have gray hair! opps did I say that never....Not me? Actually it started going grey several years ago...In my mid twenties....Oh well I still look good grey or not...I just prefer no grey at this point in my life.....Besides I look 25ish and with grey hair that doesnt work? now does It!
Look what I do to look perfect? My stylist name is Neo he is way good....
I can't believe I put these pics here.....

......Looks nasty? I know

Here is an other angle........I'll post a pic of the final results soon

here is a pic from the manhunt World tour! Here in Toronto I thought was good....

More to come soon I think I'll be feeling just fine tomorrow.....All My love to you all....
Been sic as a dawg the past week.....

Dam winter cold.....

I shall be back in fine form in no time......

I'm back to bed...

Outz

F11 push F11

2005-12-01T17:54:00.000-05:00

For some reason my blog does not load properly on everyone's PC's while I'm having this little technical difficulties there is a way around it till I figure it out..If U hit the F11 key a couple times while the page is loading it seems to do the trick.....If anyone out there has had this same issue let me know how U fixed it....

2005-12-01T13:45:00.000-05:00

Wow 50 000....Hits at the blog......

Dam its getting cold here In Toronto....

I'll be back to posting every day starting Tonight....I was away for a few days out a the city visiting friends....Sometimes U need to get away even if its only in the Burbs...Its funny I was at a good friends of mine for a day or so and I couldn't help but notice how quite it was and he only lives a half hour subway ride out a the core of Toronto..I guess U get used to the constant city Buzz...I need some down time I think or a vacation.....I'll have all the past few days filled in plus some very hot pics from last weekend from the Manhunt World Tour......Here in Toronto....

Manhunt.net World Tour Toronto

2005-11-25T09:15:00.000-05:00

Happy thanksgiving to all my American friends........

I'm so excited about this weekend.....The Manhunt.net World Tour.....

I'm so trying to figure out what to ware! I'm thinking I'll put on some new leather pants I got from the USA on Ebay...Joe Rocket moto cross pants....At bit hi in the waist department but hey I'll have my World Tour shirt on....A walking Bill Board is me..Yep....No issues there I'm at master a promotions and I love it....World domination is my future...LOL

But serious I'm kind of nervous even though I have been involved with many leather events this one is a big deal for me seen as I will be representing one of my most valued clients....It will be all good!. Look back here for many pics as I'll be out in force hanging with the DJ, snapping pics U wont find anywhere else!....No where but here.....I love it.....

5ive NightClub and Steve Ireson the GM have been nothing but my best supporters over the past years and last Friday was no exception....I took some of the World Tour T's to the Club..It was an impromptu pre party...

Some of U may wonder why I focus on the staff at the Clubs....Well they make it happen with out them there would be no NightLife....My self getting my start as a Buss Boy in many Clubs here in Toronto and Vancouver as well as Calgary..In the old days....They work hard..So if U are out and sea staffer at your local spot say HI! Say Thanks at the end of the night! They deserve it....:)

Isn't that a hot busboy! Manhunt T's look so good, they fit just right!
Ah the back side my favorite....
See what I mean about working hard, here he is at the end of the night. Look at that boy he is all wet from the hot night at DJ TK's birhtday bash last Friday....At 5ive Nightclub.....

what some others have said about the Manhunt.net World Tour....

Out In Buffalo

"TORONTO - Building on the huge success of last year's entertainment, MLTC Inc. Announced that it has secured the only Canadian date for DJ, remixer, producer Bill Bennett's Manhunt World Tour. The Manhunt World Tour is sponsored by and presented by Manhunt.net with Wet. He will be the sole DJ for the MLT Victory Ball on Saturday, Nov. 26, 2005. The Victory Ball is part of the MLT 2006 Competition.Returning to its traditional venue, the Kool Haus, which is part of the Guvernment Entertainment Complex on Queens Quay, the Mr. Leatherman Toronto Competition will feature an all-star lineup of entertainment. A trio of emcees will host the main event, The Mr. Leatherman Toronto 2006 Competition. Returning to the stage once again this year will be David Kloss, International Mr. Leather 1979. Joining him will be The Fetish Diva Midori and the comedienne Shann Carr.Opening the evening will be David Kloss and The Fetish Diva Midori. During the second half of the competition David will be joined by Shann Carr. Carr will also be the featured performer during the show with her stand up comedy act. With 20 years of gay stand up experience at her hip, Carr weaves a storytelling style that makes you feel like you're sitting in your living room with an eccentric friend who has your whole dinner party in stitches. Since 2000 she's been the sole lesbian entertainer on over 20 Atlantis cruises."That's right, 2000 gay men and me on a boat!" she said.She knows her gay men and they love her."My mom was worried sending me out to sea. She consoled herself by guessing that if there were problems, women and children would get off first.
I laughed and told her, 'On this trip I think twinkies and queens are first. Heck, they're expecting the dyke to fix the ship before it goes down!'"Following the MLT 2006 Competition, MLT will launch the Victory Ball with its pounding bass lines and soaring vocals to celebrate the victories of its title holders.
DJ Bill Bennett will bring his renowned mixes to raise the energy level of the several thousand guests expected to attend. Renowned for his music for men, Bill Bennett brings his current world tour to Toronto for its only Canadian stop Since 1989 MLT has donated more than $100,000 to its designated beneficiaries. In 2004, MLT raised and donated to the Canadian Lesbian and Gay Archives $11,000. For further information about MLT and its activities, visit http://mrlt.com. [9/30/05]"

Source of content(below)

"BIOGRAPHY - DJ BILL BENNETT As a struggling full-time college student Bill was seeking a job where he could work only on the weekends and still pay the bills. In 1999 he was hired as the Saturday night resident at the largest gay club to open in Detroit, Cobalt. His passion of dance music showed and the lines started wrapping around the building every Saturday night.

Fans from Toronto, Toledo, Columbus, Indianapolis and even Chicago would drive to Detroit for Bill's unique sounds. This was something that had never happened before. Detroit had never been known for its nightlife.Cobalt became known nationally for it's music, this immediately catapulted Bill to a national level. This Captured attention of the promoters from the infamous IML, which has hired Bill for four consecutive years, soon to be the fifth. Now Bill lives in Seattle and is one of the fastest rising DJs hitting the circuit. With a coveted residency at SBNY (aka Splash) in NYC he is finally getting the chance to play top events and clubs around the globe.

Along with the release of Bill??s new CD ??IGNITION?? he will be embarking on his IGNITION WORLD TOUR. This world tour kicks off this spring at Splash Bar NYC, hitting major US cities and several countries including Canada, Belgium, Japan and the Netherlands.Bill??s sound is a blend of progressive house and tribal beats with a touch of electronica and trance. His tour will also feature several of his remixes, which have become his signature sound. Visit Bill??s website and take a listen and see what??s happening with him."

Ok that's it for now...I'm still waiting on a delivery...Have to love UPS Not!.....but hey, the world today where would we be without 24 hour companies that can have a package from anywhere in the world in 24 hours (if it only worked that way all the time)...Weather permitting! OK winter in my way! ....LOL..still waiting..I can be very impatient..UPS where are U.....I'm outz....

See U out there!

Birthday Girls

2005-11-24T15:21:00.000-05:00

Its a cold nasty day here in Toronto, dam cold! I've been waiting all day for a package, and its now looking like I will be waiting till tomorrow to get it....Love winter NOT......
I so want to have one of these fro my B Day next year..I'm learning how asap...
The other day when on my way to the Canfar office to pic up promo materials I decided to snap a few pics of me on the Subway....

Here I am waiting to get of the subway, I really don't like the subway, I have a stop below my building so its never far when I need to be swished of some where...Its funny how people are on the train all trying not to look at each other? I always smile and of course look at the cute boys!...This particular trip a boy was looking at me grabbing his crotch....I must say I had a few fantasies running through my head(bolth)......

So last Friday I was out to celebrate my friends birthdays DJ TK and DJ DJ Sumasian it also happen to be 5ive nightclub my local haunt.....

This coming up Friday November 25/05 DJ TK will be spinning.....

Here are some friends of mine chilling in the VIP area......................

Ah the Birthday Girl, what where is the Heineken? LOL see below for info about that......

Ahh and here is Screaming Gina this time in dress....Love her she's a local Celeb every once in while you will here this operatic scream from her...Love it...
The guy moving in for a lick is ASH, a host at 5ive and a local promoter....

why can't I get boys like that?...........Wait I do! HaHaha....Well sometimes! When I want to I allways get what I want..........

Hmmm should I bleach my hair again? Hmmm nope....Done that look to many times, plus I like my red pho Mohawk....

as per Nummm! this guy you can find at 5ive bartending what a hottie...When I took the pic of him I couldn't help but show my approval of him! Hence the smile on his face!

Here are the stars of the night! The DJS... Sumasian, Sydney Blu an TK
Sum giving TK a big birthday hug....

Ash giving some one the finger (inside joke)

And finally Sum showing his dancing moves....

this Friday come out and meet the crew we will all be there to celebrate Sydneys B-Day
November 25/05 DJ TK will be spinning for DJ Sydney Blu's Birthday Bash as she spun for TK's birthday the Friday before at 5ive Nightclub.....

If Your looking for something to do tonight check out this event.....DJ TKs favorite beer....Heineken

Heineken Launches ALL STAR Series
2 of Toronto??s Finest DJ??s Headline at Fez Batik

Toronto: Thursday, November 24, 2005: Kicking off at 10 pm, Heineken presents the launch of their new product, H2 with the first installment of the Heineken ALL STAR series at Fez Batik (129 Peter Street).

Having launched in Europe in 2002, Heineken??s newly branded sexy aluminum bottleearned it the Oscar de L??Emballage award for innovation by the French Institute for Packaging and Packing. Designed by the French designer Ora Ito, it was originally conceived as a limited-edition package for distribution in trendy clubs and pubs. A hit upon its launch in select Parisian clubs and pubs and in Dutch resort areas, the bottle was subsequently introduced into Italy, Hungary, select U.S. markets, and, now Canada. Aimed at a young upscale market, H2 is available only at exclusive venues in Toronto, namely Fez Batik. The Thursday night H2 launch is also the first in Heineken Music's ALL STAR SERIES, showcasing local homegrown Toronto DJ talent.

The first of the ALL STAR SERIES' features the hard and heavy tunes of 2 of Toronto??s finest home grown talents: DJ Sydney Blu and DJ:TK. ??We??re stoked to be able to play in a beautiful, exotic lounge like Fez Batik,?? said DJ:TK.

For those in say, Moscow, who can??t make the evening, the DJ sets will be live to air on manCandy Radio, Internet streaming to over 100 000 listeners across the world.

With good music, a great space, and a launch party, Thursday night never sounded better!

I had planned on being there but after waiting all day for a package that didn't come I'm in a mood, plus I'm up early in the morning to go out shopping for an Outfit for the Manhunt.net World Tour event I'm working this Saturday for Manhunt.net....Plus its time to get my hair done coloured and styled...and then a trip to the tanning salon....Glow whom I happen to rep in the village....

I really wanted to be at this event, Don't fret though! I will be there in spirt, How U may ask? Well I'm going to be listening to to it on Mancandy.ca....It's live to Air! How cool is that! I helped out with one of there first live to air events through sponorship by one of my clients this past summer....Should be fun take a listen.....

Early to bed for me....

I'm Outz

see You out there!

To view more pictures from the Birthday party look here My WEBSHOTS page

2005-11-23T09:36:00.000-05:00

So what's up this week for me....1'st some pics of me from a few years ago in Seattle with the boy who I moved to Toronto with

Here I am in front of a semi truck...Who so graciously stopped for us when we broke down in our car at Bellingham....He saw a pride sticker on the car and gave us a ride to Seattle....LOL fun times..The entire weekend he was trying to get in my pants and my Bo's...
Here we are at some fab 24 Hour restaurant.....
Finnally here I am on the Amtrack train looking at the Pacific ocean at 6am on my way home back to Vancouver.....What a train trip! that is up the coast. I highly recomend it! its out a this world......the train trip that is.....

Well its a big week here in Toronto...Hey when isn't it a big week here....

Its time to step up and do some volunteer work for me....You may ask? what to do? Not me I am always on top of it! what needs to be done! In Toronto the largest city in Canada and one of the well lets just say foremost cities in the world! there is no shortage of very worthy organizations needing a bit of help....

I love this event and help out every year!

Bloor Street Entertains..

AS many of you know I volunteer my services to many HIV/Aids charities!, I'm very proud to do so and will continue to promote and further the cause to as many people as I can......Why because its still very very urgent....Being a gay man I'm on the front lines of it..In the trenches so to speak....

This is a battle worth fighting, if you can be there please do so.....

So When CANFAR calls me up asking for my help I'm there! Just like I'm there for PWA and ACT here in Toronto.....Let me say if there are any of you out there who need my help to forward your cause in the gay community here or around the world, I'm there just.....

tell me when and where.....

Next week on the 30 I will be at Bloor Street Entertains.....

Imagine a World...Without AIDS. Bloor Street Entertains is CANFAR's flagship fundraising event.Now in its ninth year, Bloor Street Entertains will once again bring together Toronto's most acclaimed chefs, florists and service professionals to create and host intimate dinners at over 20 prominent retail locations in the Yorkville area of Bloor Street including Williams-Sonoma, Tiffany, Escada, Cartier, Holt Renfrew, John de Jong Jewellery to name a few!

After dinner, guests will join The Party and celebrate in style while indulging in delectable cuisine, libations and our Silent and Live Auctions. This year the illustrious Party will be held in the classic atmosphere of Hart House at University of Toronto.

Our theme, 'Imagine A World... without AIDS' will be woven into the romantic and illusionary vision of our top notch designers and creators, transforming Hart House and your imagination into a place where we can all 'Imagine A World... without AIDS'.

For more information please call 416-361-6281 or email BSE@CANFAR.com

Its going to be a great time if you can afford to go get your buts there if not make a donation or volunteer they always need help at the office....Give them a call.....

Look back here for exclusive pics.......

If that's not enough this coming up weekend its the Manhunt.net world Tour...Being that I'm always involved with any Manhunt.net event I'll be there...
Its a great thing, a bit of info about it....Its all about Crystal Meth and its need to be stopped! Stopped from destroying our communities not only here in Toronto but around the World.....I'm very proud to be involved with this one....

DJ Bill Bennett says..

"What would I like to see? Crystal out of our society. If this drug doesn't eventually kill you , it will change who you are as a person. I have see the most handsome and caring men turn into horrible, ugly selfish people from long term usage of this drug."

I whole heartedly agree with this as U may know if your have read my past posts from a few years ago I am very much aware of what this drug can do to you....

The tour is here as part of Toronto's MLT weekend.....

"DJ Bill Bennett Headlines Leather Ball IXLeather Ball IX Saturday, August 16, 2003, 10:00 PM - 5:00 AM The Opera House, 735 Queen Street East, Toronto Advance Tickets: CDN$35 until August 10 CDN$40 after (more @ door if available) Available @ Priape Toronto/Montreal & Northbound Leather

One of North America's most popular and acclaimed leather dance events, MLT's Leather Ball, returns for it's ninth incarnation, Saturday, August 16, at The Opera House. DJ Bill Bennett (Chicago) commands the turntables following his brilliant performance at the inaugural MLT Leather Pride Ball last year (2002). Bennett has twice deejayed the infamous Black & Blue Closing Party of International Mr. Leather weekend in Chicago and was the headliner for the Leather Rites main event at IML 2003. Upcoming appearances include Belgium Pride and the Military Ball at Vancouver Pride."

It should be a great night look for me there at the Manhunt.net booth.......
and of course look back here for exclusive pics from an industry insider! pics you will not find any where else....

Some things worth note....
One of the tours sponsors is an organization from the USA

Life or Meth, a very very good thing, it is from the USA but very much relevant here as well...So look into it...And please if you think you have a friend who may be having a problem with it...DO NOT GIVE UP ON THEM THEY NEED YOU NOW MORE THAN EVER.....

As well its AIDS awareness week here in Canada.....

plus Word AIDS Day coming up soon.....

Its all so relevant please take a minute to look at things I find very important and close to my heart.....

That's it for now...I can't spend all day at my computer...LOL....Take care of U all and see you out there....

Hugz.....GCxPB

Good Bye ...

2005-11-22T04:20:00.000-05:00

Well this brings me back to why I started this blog...
A fellow poz blogger has passed away......

No, Dirty Kitty...No!!
Thoughts on culture, art, sex, music and life from a poz gay black man living in Texas. Sometimes naughty, sometimes nice, but always...And I mean always..CLEAN IT OUT!!

To talk about HIV/AIDS....My health and how I'm dealing with it.. To share with others and let them know if they have this in common with me they are not alone.....Well this man, he in his way did the same....It just happened but there is a big group of us out there now who link to each other.....Brave enough to share, embrace each other in are pain and in our joys.....Its a wonderful thing and he was a part of it...He linked to my blog long ago....Its a brotherhood of gay men who share similar things if not only being poz and our dealings with it...Its a simple thing really but means so much to us all....I'm very proud to be a part of it...And I know he was to.....I will miss reading his funny stories about men and there lack of well clean buts....I love it he was a one of a kind.....

He will live on in our hearts and minds.....And in his blog....His legacy on line....

Much love and a big hugz.....Have a drink waiting for me..You....*mwah*

He will be missed.....

2005-11-21T01:21:00.000-05:00

Well after a busy weekend I finally got some time to go over the many pics from the Madonna parties at Woody's and 5ive last week I've selected a few of the ones I liked to most.......Seen as I'm new at this I'm not sure what to do with the pics I don't want to use on the main site?. I will continue to put them on a alternate site so U can find your pictures .....Be warned some are not the best as I'm new at this........The ones here will be my favorites, friends of mine.....And for sure cute boys of course...That's a given!.......

As you will see it was a fun night. I give congratulates to everyone who put it together.....Including...Gay Guide Toronto, DJ/Producer CAJJMERE WRAY , 5ive NightClub , Woody's and anyone else involved at bolth venues....

....It has been talked about as being one of the best nights out in Toronto for some time...I've not seen such a buzz since the Fab 10 year anniversary party last year...

This is my Fab friend Shanna who is one of the busiest girls in Toronto. She is some one to look up to and admire.......You can find out all about her here....She is my preferred printer and gets all my congratulations on being an outstanding member of our community and an example for young lesbian women....And of course don't forget her darling other half DJ TK, Who's birthday bash I was at this past Friday and will have pics up soon for....
Here are some of the best Queens in the city You can find them at Zelda's or other local haunts on the strip here in Toronto....
This girl is cool, she is at 5ive every night helping us boys get it together be it drinks or help at the door ...She is one fab girl.....
Ahhh the girls again.....Oh so fabulous, To think I used to be scared of Queens..I now love em...They cheer me up when I'm down...Make me smile and hey what would a gay mans life be with out a Queen every once in while..You go Girls....
Looook at the costume I love seeing someone put effort into what they do...Good for You, Keep it up....
Ahhh MY bud Mitch.....Looking proud of his VIP Madonna pass...Now how come I didn't get one a them?..Hmmm didn't need one...Me wait in lines nope!....One phone call and I was in No problem..Speaking of lines my god it was way crazy, the lines where around the block....It reminded me of pride....
I didn't! Oh yes I did...Is That a girl standing up to pee...LOL Lena Over is her name shes at Zelda's every Saturday
Me getting a big kiss from DJ Sumasian one of the best promoters in the city who focuses on the Asian crowd at 5ive and has two very hot nights at 5ive every month....Check it out..He had asked me to come and see his night for some time..I did this past summer and had a great night...And the men Mmmmmm Num there are some hot hot boys at this guys events..... Miss Conception...What can I say I love this Gal...She hosted my COLT event and works with many events I'm involved with including the Tuesdays dinner drag show at Zelda's....I love the dinner drag scene it fun, its good times and with with Miss C your guaranteed a good time.....She is one funny gal who can do anything I swear.....
What does that mean again? Here is Mitchel Raphael the Editor of Fab here in Toronto, the mag I like to read and of course send everyone looking for when in need of info...That is a given there is no other......
MaHa a true gentleman and watch what you got on your booty when he is around as he is a Stylist, I'll never forget this past summer he and I and a couple others made sure are fav gal pall Ashley was taken care of on her birthday...He had cake and candles for her at 5ive..You don't find to many people out there who care enough to do that....I had flowers for her and called ahead to make sure the club set it out for her.....You can see him on many local TV shows....A local Celeb in the true meaning! A star in my eye!

Speaking of the Gal pal here she is surrounded by the media, and me of course....Not sure who the camera guy was but the video camera was from OUT TV Canada's Queer TV channel.....Look at her what a star......And not to forget there is an other local celeb Screaming Gina who I here reads my little spot on the web....how long I have no idea she won't tell me!....But welcome! As everyone is...HI babe....
Here is a pic I took early in the evening, This is Donnarama @ Woody's. A true performer in Toronto who is fabulous I love her she is one funny gal......
Cute boys dancing at 5ive....They reminded me of the days when I used to dance every night at raves in Vancouver...You know that hard core intense dancing where You let it go and just kick it...
The DJ!! We need more nights like this! Babe bring it on please..Let me know if you need my help.....We have met....You are hot...Super Idea on the party by the way! No one does it like U ..DJ/Producer CAJJMERE WRAY
One more pic of the boyz showing us how its done....Loved there moves....And that guy in the red Hustler shirt what a cutie, Hmm do I know him..I'm gonna find out he is super cute.....

Ok that's it for this pics.....

I'm in love with this whole picture blogging revolution here at the old blog......Feeling good, Happy and moving on with life.....It's all good and credit is due when credit is deserved and I'll be the first person to shout out when I see something worth talking about....And You all know it's still all about me on here right? Of course who wouldn't be able to figure that out..LOL

Speaking of the Blog, I have a Darling friend in Edmonton formally of Vancouver who is designing a LOGO for the site and my bizz....So look forward to seeing full on Branding of this site.....I love it my own LOGO! That is hot and means so much to me....Makes me smile from ear to ear....

I'm outz...

And if you see me out and about here in TO don't be shy say HI...Hey that rhymes....

xxooxxxX

2005-11-18T23:03:00.000-05:00

Me outside Woody's...Looking good in front of the Madonna limo.....

What a night it was here in Toronto as we came out to celebrate Madonna.....

I've selected a few pics look here , if You don't see your pic look back as I'll be adding much more in the next few day's

See You out there.....

it's my bud DJ TK's birthday bash at 5ive tonight...Happy birthday baby.....

I'm outz

Martinis with my favorite Gal pal..

2005-11-16T04:49:00.000-05:00

SO what's a gay man to do when he is in need of some rest and relaxation in the Toronto's gay Village...Well in my case its take a short walk over to Yorkville....A neighborhood infamous for being the IT place where all the hot in the know people go..Or in other words the people with money..aka Celebes and wana bees like me....LOL seriously though I was always aware of this place called

7 West cafe Toronto

Its well known in the gay community here as a place to go after hours for a fine bit a food and to chill with your fab friends......

Me being the ever so trend setting one of my bunch of compatriots I just had to check it out...I've been ever so eager for a new place....So I decided after being there with my Bud San for a going away party...He is now back in Mexico for the Winter to work on such fabulous events as Latin Fever....We had such a great time at his going away dinner that I decide with girl pal in tow to check it out again...This time with camera in hand....

The place is amazing...Its a mix of everyone, all nationalities and backgrounds..Including sexualities....I truly modern urban mix of sophisticated thinking peoples who are upwardly mobile, this is the cool bit..People with an artistic flare....I saw lesbians chatting about girls, hot young straight couples looking deep into each others eyes...A cute boy who was looking at me, just sitting there with a cupachinno reading a book....I love places like this it has an truly Canadian feel, in that all are welcome...I couldn't recommend the place more highly...At there site go to the third floor, then to the patio..You'll see where I was sitting! Back right side...Its sur real as U are surrounded by building...Urban living to the extreme.....I wouldn't have it any other way....

Oh and the food is great and the Martinis are fabulous....

And its open 24/7 how perfect is that for people of the Night like me....

I found this bit on the net about it......
It's surprising how many people hunger for pasta primavera or a bagel melt at 3 AM. Luckily, such cravings can be indulged at this 24-hour haven for the hip and hungry. Everything comes with a green salad, and every item is homemade. Soups like Moroccan lentil and vegetarian chili are delicious. The dinner-size sandwiches (grilled honey-and-herb chicken breast, for example) are huge. All three floors here are chic and trendy. AE, MC, V.

Here are some pics I took of the fun...I love my friends Ash..She is one crazy girl...
Here I am enjoying a Martini can't remember the name sex on the Patio I think...It was num numy....

My darling gal pal looking over the menu
the food look at all that food anti pasta and pita pizza's..
Me satisfied and on my third Martini by now at least....
Deep in conversation while looking at the cute boys all around me
Darlings drinking here fab martini and telling me she loves me! Who wouldn't Love me How couldn't she love me? Give me the love!
Me at the door like my new pants?
My dear looking so cool!
Oppps we had a few more Martinis.....
Looking happy at the door!
Why not one more then the door....LOL

I'd say a good night and good friends that's what life is all about? Oh yes dare I forget a good man to..Now if I could just find one!....If U think U could be that man..Insert you into the pics above....Then email me...I'm always looking for new friends...To chill with and explore my life.....Hints can be so suttle and at times so obvious....

Are we not loving Madonna's new CD......Tonight its Madonna crazy here in Toronto....Gay boys are gona be out in force to party to her tonight...At.....

Woody's and then 5ive see you all out there!

2005-11-13T03:34:00.000-05:00

So its been a very nice relaxing weekend for me, other than the fact I am totally into a Man who right now I cannot see. Because he has a complicated situation at home. Its like having a fridge full of food, and you cannot eat any of it, You are starving but its all just out A reach...its locked up....You cannot find the key and are so so very wanting to get in....Strange analogy I know...but hey....You all have come to expect nothing other than that from me by now....

The guy is so tormented I wish I could reach in to his life and scoop him....Transport him to me, and that would be that.....Some men are very easy to get, not that I am the kind of guy who goes out looking...But this one has really got me, so many men have come and gone without me even batting an eye lash at them as they drift through my life ....In fact it seems easy to just be alone but we all do not want that....plus I keep learning day by day we have more and more in common....I can be a bitch and do not have problems meeting men...In fact I try to keep them away most times....Simple self protection mode in effect most times...

But he I do not think knows what he wants, So we are chatting....emailing..I'm waiting for him to figure out what he wants....I remember when I was his age 23 life was much more complicated, I so would have liked a man to want me for more than sex back then....To be given an opportunity to be myself....I feel like an older guy to a point that I think I can now from much learning from my own mistakes take that into a relationship and use it to grow and nurture and love..rather than let it hurt and tear down someone and me....Its all about love and respect...Trust...Love forever, friends forever....You can have both I think. but not one without the other....

Speaking of friends...here is a pic I really like of me....Its of a friend of mine who unfortunately I've lost touch with other than a purely casual basis..In fact he is one of the first guys I told I was poz...he helped me to sort out some very strong anger I had back then...I love him..He is a bit lost the past while I hope he finds his way back to us soon...Us being the circle of friends at the time a few years ago now....

2005-11-12T03:00:00.000-05:00

Its late I can't sleep so seen as I'm sharing pics as of late I thought I would scan some old pics....This one is of me with a bunch of people at Woody's...I was in a Leather make over contest for the Folsom Fair North 2.....It was a pre promo gig for the Fair....The pic was scanned from a Montreal French mag Fugues....I can't remember the month but it was early last year 2004....

I was so nervous it being my first time on the stage at Woody's.....I didn't win.....The real lady in the pic won seen as it was a shock make over so to speak she came in dressed like a school teacher and then came out as a dominatric looking diva....I was in a dress shirt and jeans.......The hat I had on was a killer as it was to small and made my head feel like it was going to explode.....

I had a great time and for months after I was approached by guys asking me if I was that guy in the contest.....A true one in a life time event....

It was called Cuir Eye for the Trendy Guy....

Im the one second from the left....I couldn't help most of the time looking down at the guy in front of me, what a cute but on a hot guy...

You will see next to me a Local Celeb other than me(LOL) Enza Anderson Supermodel....It was funny when we where at Priape for the fitting the day before I happen to notice she had breasts...I kind a looked shocked I guess when I commented to her about them, seen as we had worked on Pride a few years on the fundraising committee we know each other...I got a look like don't ask...I didn't bring it up again....They look good....That's if you like boobies....

Here is a pic of me and her at a Pride Volunteer appreciation party a few years back at a club called Buddies.....

Never dull moments in this boys life....

So I am a bit shocked at how busy the blog is getting....Very happy, Welcome to all the new friends from around the world....

Ok I'm of to bed....

Look for many new pics of me and my going ons....

including all my friends and more....

2005-11-10T18:58:00.000-05:00

Well if you all think back you will remember last year when I did the international premiere party for Buckleroos It was a lot of fun working With COLT.....

In the pic you see Zack Spears, Owen Hawk, Me & Dean Phoenix.

The day and evening was a smash hit, that ended at a big fetish party, I had them all on the VIP guest list...Owen Hawk ran around naked....I by this point was exhausted...I did my hello's and was on the shuttle, home for 6am.

On a side note when I was at there hotel to meet them the day before, Zack Spears said to me...Something like WOW your cute, I expected an old man You are young and sexy.

Well something to that point.....I was very flattered........

2005-11-09T13:40:00.000-05:00

I need some advice about templates?

I want to take this pic (above) and use it as my background for the blog! Anyone who can help me please e mail me or post a comment....

Plus Comments wanted on my new efforts at the site...Let me know what you all think!

Also Links, if you want to link to my site just click on the Bloglinker URL at the bottom of my links to the right, your link will be added to my site.....

It's burning up on the blog..Hits have doubled...Anyone interested it advertising on the site let me know.....

Peace and love to you all....

I'm outz....

2005-11-08T17:12:00.000-05:00

A pic I found of my self on the RECON site from an event this summer Folsom Fair North III I promoted, the pic was taken at the Agitator event the main party of the Fair. I also hosted a booth for one of my clients at the fair the next day....

Every year I'm more involved with this event next year should be bigger and better! I'm sure of that.....

What do you think? Like my hairy chest?

It was a hot sticky few days here last summer we where all very hot, it was 40c during the day and humid.....
One perk in this job is I get to hire Hot men like this to help me....
He is a GO-GO boy I hire sometimes, All day long doing what ever I tell Him...
He dances at a gay strip club in Montreal if you want to get a closer look....

This year it was all work and no play, I love the Guys that put on the Fair, they have treated me with nothing but the utmost respect and compassion....

Through these guys I've networked and gained in my career ten fold I Thank them from the bottom of my heart.....Big hugz to You Dean And John a tribute to you!

2005-11-07T18:10:00.000-05:00

I cant wait I'm on a Madonna kick.....I want her so bad!..That is I want to see her so bad Live....When she was here in Toronto for her last tour I couldn't go! Was busy.....I so hope she comes this time....She had three sold out concerts here in Toronto I believe....I bet she could sell out 6 if she wanted.....

Speaking of Madonna My friends over at 5ive NightClub here in Toronto are doing a Madonna Thon night soon.....November 16th

I will be there for sure to take pics and listen to one of my favorite DJS,DJ/Producer CAJJMERE WRAY who I plan on doing a night here in Toronto soon, with him spinning!

5ive NightClub has supported me over the years, I'm involved there of and on through my Bizz with Clients of mine, sponsoring there events...

Look for me to be posting more events soon that I'm involved with at other clubs Like FLY NIGHTCLUB I'm happy to be moving into Fly as a rep for one of my major clients from the USA.

And Like I said look for info on up coming event here as I'm in the know! Like this bit of Info -> The rumored new It's a Boys Life.....You found out about it here first! Yes there is going to be a revival of the Fab night formerly at IT....The first event is scheduled for December. The first event will be 'itsaboyslife' reunion. I will be there more than likely I'm working on my involvement this week...More to come asap....

Update its now looking like this event will be in January.....

2005-11-07T12:23:00.000-05:00

Look Up at the Blog description...I've changed it to more reflect what I am now,
No longer bitter about the way I was dealt my cards when coming out as a gay man...I've accepted my being POZ and my other problems that where/are a part of my life when I started the Blog several years ago! They are far from my only concerns now....I'm comfortable more and more in my own skin....Feeling good accepting my fate, but not that its set in stone...Life is what you make it! I am growing as a man faster and faster, leaving others behind in the dust..No time for it any more you are with me or you are just going to be left behind....OK got it? Good...

Now on to the take over.....LOL

Look at those lips..opps sorry I'm in love with my lips..and thats OK

2005-11-07T10:47:00.000-05:00

look at my lips! Don't they look big and luscious? Something you would want to keep....I think so, there very good for kissing...Trust me!
I'm playing around with photo editing...

I'm the lips on the right I don't know who the other guy is!

As usual I'm busy spreading my lips all about town....

One day I will start to remember there names? Ahh why bother....

That way its easier to just move on when you see them, dam can't remember his name..Next!

Another thing on my mind is Men, well looks of men...You see I'm always being told I should have a more attractive boyfriend or you shouldn't be with him you could do better than him....Well sometimes I know this other times I like the guy for other reasons, sometimes its a combination of certain characteristics and looks..Like blue eyes, I love a guy with blue eyes and dark hair....The one I've talked with below is one in fact who falls into this situation...I think we all have some attractive traits and some no so...I must admit there are some men who are just nasty...But they are far and few between...More often they are nasty because they let them selves go....I have in the past and trust me I can be down right nasty...
An example would be like a few weeks ago after an all night sex fest at Steam Works in the sling room...I was in a cab and home before anyone saw me I was nasty....But thank Goodness that's something temporary...I feel bad for men who are just nasty all the time...Ok I'm getting mean here but I'm in a mood I tell you...Some men are just a waste of space and that's that..Enough said!

Rant over

But serious I'm feeling better about the latest round with this guy, I now feel angry and resentful, I was asked can we be pal's...Hmmm I wonder how that happens when one of us was just cut of thrown away...How do I switch my feelings to Pall Buddy...I don't think its that easy, I've never been one to be friends with exs and never been dumped before so this is all new for me? I think its just a big distraction I don't need...Alone forever is how I feel....Simple no trouble...Casual sex and that's that...(not really but its so easy that way..I want love I want to be with someone who wants m, I want to wake up next to a man who I love...I want to have that man who I give everything I am to...Is that to much to ask?

In other news I'm getting back to being busy.....very much thinking about travel for the winter....Its after halloween and the fall winter scene is starting to buzz here in Toronto...Could it be a boy's life this winter again? You all here(Toronto) would know what that means....more to come lots more....

Let me know about the pics and I'll start putting more up....

2005-11-06T09:13:00.000-05:00

Here is a pic I've been wanting to share for some time..As you will see I'm a bit whiter looking, the benefits of being a rep for a Tanning salon are evident in the last pic I posted....Not the best pic of me but I wanted to share it none the less

The pic is of Simone Denny of (Love Inc) and you all know her now as the theme music of Queer eye....Me in the middle and a friend of Mine Jaime Crouch from Thunderstar present who helped me with My Colt Studio event last year here in Toronto...Colt Studio Group & Buckshot Productions International Release Party of "BuckleRoos" October 23, 2004

I love her and remember her fondly from the old days specifically songs like Your a Super Star and Broken Bones...the later being a theme song of mine for several years when I was a Busser in several gay clubs in Vancouver in the 90's....Wow have times changed....

This is as much for you as me as I know you will read this, please know this is where I sort out my life, I love you and care about you! C____

So about matters of the heart, So I need some advice from my readers....I've met this guy and now twice he has come into my life and then left for several reasons a couple of them being...he thinks says he is in love with another guy and me, lives with the other guy...Has a life with him that is beyond what I would call un healthy.(some reasons being drug use and abuse from aforementioned boyfriend/roommate depending on how things are and if the boyfriend decides he wants him rather than a previous live in boyfriend...next reason has never been with a guy who is poz and verbally berated by the other guy about it....told he is a room-mate then when he is brave enough to try and have a life i.e. with me we spend time together he realises hey maybe I still want him...a guy from what I see he has no respect for, who in a whim or mood will turn on him humiliating him with out consideration for his feelings..very selfish...Not to mention name calling of me who he doesn't know...This is just a bit of the complicated set of circumstances....

He says he loves us both, when times are bad the past month or two he is calling me, then the ex/on of boyfriend room-mate decides he is not to be doing what he does and threatens him to be kicked out, fully knowing he will run back to him because he is so scared of being homeless...its a vicious circle that I if I had known what I was getting into would have been apprehensive to say the least to get involved with....But I am now

The other part is the time we spend together has been great, there is something about him I'm gravitated to, something pulls me in..there are a few things I've figured out so far, One being the look in his eyes when we are together...the way he looks at me...The fact we have been texting and emailing each other for weeks and developing a bond...the fact he wants me I know he does and I want him he knows this...I've made it way to clear....

So what to do, you know the saying set him free and if he loves you he will come back...Well I did one time and he came back....Only to be yanked away from me under duress...hardship and pain, being beat and struck down left shattered and torn by someone who he says to me he still loves while he is in my arms only the day before professing his love for me, that he has many, many times....Me not so many times until this past few days did I let him know how I felt...well one time..I was scared he would run of again...I was right, I can only now show my convictions, As you all know on here I'm a very passionate person, strong and know what I want most times...I've way to many times just given up or let people wander out of my life either because I'm self doubting my self or there intensions or both...Its not that simple really....

When It comes to matters of the heart I've seen my share of heart ach, this guy needs me I know he does, If you have been reading this blog since the beginning you will know about my past relationships, how I was held back and used and abused, both the victim and the victimiser...Something I have learned so much from and want to share point infact the birth of this blog being because of very similar feelings and emotions life!

Ok SO there is lots to think about, simply speaking what is it all about, Love, happiness, taking risks, jumping in head first, with out risks you will never get what you want....

Read between the lines....not to much though

Songs I'm listening to as of late...

Whitney Houston - It's Not Right But It's OK (Thunderpuss Club Mix)
Waiting For Tonight (Tecno Club Mix)
Waves Of Luv (The Disco Boys Full Vocal)
Keep On Moving (Ultimix) Soul II Soul
Wanna Be An Angel (Art Of Trance vs dba remix)Matt Darey Pres Tekara Feat Xa
Hung Up (SDP's Extended Dub)Madonna, Confessions On A Dancefloor
California Dreamin' (Tek House Single)Royal Gigolos, remix heaven 2005

2005-11-04T21:44:00.000-05:00

Well I'm not in the mood to post the past few days.....been busy with a so called relationship.....On and of and on and now of again....

I don't understand how some men can play with others emotions....Just when I was going to let him in again...I'm told its over again...the thing is he has a live in boyfriend who is the on and of again room mate...I don't know, he hits him, I learned last night, tells him to get out, the poor guy is trapped with someone who calls him names and verbally abuses him as well....won't let him move on....I was there at one time in my life as well....So scared to move on that I couldn't make it in my life as well....after a year or so I left after it was so bad we both where hurting each other constantly....

The thing is the other night we actually finally had sex real intimate sex....I made love with him, and it was great to actually have feelings for someone while having sex it was there...Something that hasn't been there for a long time....

He was ok with me being poz as well, or I think trying to....I am hurt and left alone feeling used and torn apart....He reads this so will see this...the hurtful thing or that really bothers me is this is the second time now he has done this to me......I am done with men or at least relationships....who needs the pain, I don't I screw up enough in this fucked up world that I don't need anyone else making me sit home alone feeling like a truck just hit me....

I should thank him for reminding me that some guys deserve each other, and I think these two do, If you think so little about your self you deserve what you get...Its sad I thought I had problems, Its almost like a game that he doesn't know he is playing in.....I'm not going to be a pawn in this, if he wants him he can have him....

I don't know how someone can throw around the word love so easy either...I've been warned that some guys are just bad but I refuse to give up and become bitter....its hard but I'm not there yet....

The truth be told I've fallen for him...This one needs me and I need him! I'll do what it takes....I've given up on so many things in my life and he is not one I'm willing to.....The good and the bad I'll take it all, I've been through so much in my life and need to start fighting for what I want, and I want him in my life!

I've waited this long a few more months is not a long time!.......

You see we developed a relationship over text messaging and email after we met, he has touched me in ways others have never before....He has been reading this blog so knows more about me than any other man in my life has so far....He is scared I know I've been there.....He has had to do some awful things this past few years to survive, he shouldn't have to....and I intend to make sure he knows that I will be here no matter what, just as long as I know what he is telling me is true.....

After I posted this we talked I think he now knows I'm serious, I so wished I could have just let him stay with me the other night...told him stay here with me...Your home....but I'm in the middle of a two month wait till my new apartment! sleeping in a living room...If I have to I'll risk everything....Its been a while since a man brought me to tears, to long. That is when I new how I really felt for sure....100%

2005-10-30T19:24:00.000-05:00

Hi all

Happy Halloween...

I've reached I milestone here at they old Blog...

Here is a pic of My friends Roberto, Santiago....And guess who....Me

They are going back to Mexico for the Winter..I will miss them..In fact I will be just maybe going to see them this year....Work on the beach frolic in the sand...Sounds so much more appealing than snow!!!!!

Ha take a close look at the grey in the goatee!

It may not be up long, I wanted to try it and see what happens

2005-10-27T14:34:00.000-04:00

Something new here pics...

This one is my first pic on my Blog and its to warm you up for Halloween....

The Dark Angel.....Sexy

Some things to ponder.....

I'm in a good place now and happy.....

I should say I know who some of these people are and other I don't I simply like what they have said....That being told please don't take offense if any are offended by who I choose to quote none was implied or intensional.....

So I bring you some quotes that I find uplifting and very much inline with my way of thinking....

"That which is far off, and exceeding deep, who can find it out? I applied mine heart to know, and to search, and to seek out wisdom, and the reason of things, and to know the wickedness of folly, even of foolishness and madness."

~ The Book of Ecclesiastes

"It's not who I am underneath, but what I do that defines me."

~ Batman Begins

"A man's ethical behavior should be based effectually on sympathy, education, and social ties and needs; no religious basis is necessary. Man would indeed be in a poor way if he had to be restrained by fear of punishment and hope of reward after death."

~ Albert Einstein

"Fix reason firmly in her seat, and call to her tribunal every fact, every opinion. Question with boldness even the existence of a God; because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason, than that of blind-folded fear."

~ Thomas Jefferson

"I am free, no matter what rules surround me. If I find them tolerable, I tolerate them; if I find them too obnoxious, I break them. I am free because I know that I alone am morally responsible for everything I do."

~ Robert A. Heinlein

"I do not pray... I do not expect God to single me out and grant me advantages over my fellow men... Prayer seems to me a cry of weakness, and an attempt to avoid, by trickery, the rules of the game as laid down. I do not choose to admit weakness. I accept the challenge of responsibility."

~ Zora Neale Hurston

It's always about me here not....

Later

I'm of to go shopping I love that....This new store well not new here in Toronto but to me it is HM...Love the place....

2005-10-26T19:00:00.000-04:00

Well I finally got to the Doc today! Nothing new I go every two weeks....
Good news!

I should first of say that I've been worried about my CD4 counts for several months as they have been slowly dropping down to 160......well the new one was 260...So I am very happy and will sleep better knowing this.....the viral counts are undetectable still...I had an idea in my head that the meds where not working anymore, convinced that I may have to start a new pill cocktail...but nope and now I take them all one time a day so its easy...No worries about tolerating new meds....I'm very lucky that the ones I'm on now don't seem to give me bad side affects......

I am sure you all have noticed my shameless plugs for events I am helping with, I am sorta testing my skills for a site I am in the beginning process of developing....
Ohhh the weather is frightful here in Toronto cold....I Think we will get snow soon....

Hmmm seen as my new building has a gym and pool I should start working out....I'm not overweight but could use some more tone.....definition....Plus I am on testosterone so I should get big fast I am thinking? Any thoughts?
I know some of you work out lots any tips on a beginners work out?.....I used to work out when I was a teen and had a solid build in fact I was asked bye my gym at the time to compete in lightweight bodybuilding...Hmmm sounds much more exciting now than it did then......Hot sweaty men pumping iron....

shopping tomorrow for Halloween....last year was out as an army dude...this year I think I will just get a new outfit and some hot Italian leather shoes....you know the kind, you here coming....wired thing is when I am out and about and a group of ladies are walking in hi heels and making a loud racket it drives me crazy...but when it's me I think its hot...strange I know!

Ok later sexy people...

I am outz

2005-10-25T09:25:00.000-04:00

I for some reason decided to look in on Soblo remember him...One of my first gay blogs I ever looked at....

well he is back now called Reckless Narcissism

welcome back to blogging.....Hugz

2005-10-24T22:23:00.000-04:00

Hi all.....

So Halloween is upon us soon.....

Here in Toronto its huge.....

There are parties in every club packed with thousands of guys and gals.....

the street turns into a mini pride with a spooky ambiance....literally the street ends up being closed for the night Its hot.....

I'll be at a new night that two friends of mine have started at a club called

Temple Sundays at the Phoenix

:::Temple of Terror at the Phoenix:::

I'll be there as the rep for one of my clients who I involved as a sponsor.....

Look for me snapping pics and chatting up all the cute boys......

I very proud to have helped with this event in my way and as the first one was a huge hit this past Thanks Giving I have no doubt what so ever that the next one on the 30th will be equally fabulous.....

2005-10-23T23:37:00.000-04:00

Look for me at 5ive night club....

this November 05

Fetish at 5ive....

I love these events and unlike many other promoters in Toronto I accept many different parties and events as my scene....A little bit of everything keeps life interesting.....

I've never met a person I did not like, I always say...Just what they did or did not do.....One who denies themselves opportunities finds they are the one losing out in the end....

trust me an open mind in a good mind...One that wants to learn....

that being said if you want to be at the fetish party at 5ive you will need to know this info

"Fetish Dress Code Strictly Enforced: Leather, Latex, Lingerie, Wet look, PVC, Uniforms, X-dress
No fatigues, No denim except under Chaps - NO EXCEPTIONS!!
Admission: $5 before 10pm, $15 @ door, $10 with pass
Doors open @ 9PM - 416.972.1037 for info
5ive is located at 5 St. Joseph st around the corner from NORTHBOUND LEATHER
(1 blk north of Wellesley, just off Yonge St.)" Toronto, Ontario, Canada

This event is a pan sexual event. Conditions apply to entry - please check their website.

I like to go in chaps or in a jock strap myself....Sometimes I go in full military gear....Or other times I've been to similar events in motto cross...Hmmm that one is my favorite look (fetish)...Don't get me wrong here I have a few fetishes....They are something I feel one develops over time and with exposure to others into fetish, look wise or sexually you need to explore to find out if its for you or not....That's how I found out I may have a fetish or two....I happen to meet the Guys Who put on The Folsom Fair North and around the same time went to my first fetish at 5ive a few years back.....Its not something that dominates my life quite the opposite actually....But it's there and I respect it...And I am always open to learning about other parts of the Master of my domain Me...LOL.....Want to know more about my master/sub/slave fantasies let me know....I tend to like to be the boss....But one who likes to be submissive for the right guy.....

More to come on many things here as I expect to be developing this site into more and more of a place that integrates more of what I am up to as well what I am thinking and feeling.....

Ok that is it or I shall be here all night....

do not forget to check out my links.....They are some hot men and women I adore....

peace

as my friends at Folsom Fair North say

Expect More

I so agree.....

2005-10-23T23:03:00.000-04:00

Complications due to Blogging....And my poor judgment.....

What to do when someone you where sorta seeing finds your blog and well you may start seeing one day again is reading it....

certain things I wanted to tell him and was moving to the point I was going to are now learned by him through this blog and not directly from me....Very bad and poor behavior I could only imagine if I was in his place how I would feel....Hurt I'm sure....

I don't know life is crazy at times.....

In a way I'm glad he found the blog, at least I didn't have to face him with the one thing I dreaded telling him about me....We will see what happens..Where talking still, its a good thing...We will see.....

Of to the Doc in the morning.....Still on the pain meds they are a bitch I tell you....Two new doctors joining the team in the next month one of them is going to look into the pancreas problem from a new and I hope fresh prospective.....The other I hope will tell me why my joints are sore from time to time, more so as of late....

Plus the new blood work is due in....Something I've not shared on here for some time....I will say one thing about this blog as its becoming more and more popular around the world I find my self torn between here and there ...there being everywhere else but here...And my need to share and at the same time protect my interests...So many in Toronto read this now....This is why I'm starting the new site......And will continue the blog....Two entities one personal...The othe strictly bizzzz....

oh yes last test results where good undetectable....T-cells where low but they have been for some time....I don't think that's going to change... Wait I've now started taking the meds one time a day now so I hope that will counteract the way to many times I've missed the meds...Hence the low t-cells...I'm not a doc but I know my body...I'll fill ya all in....

I'm tired

Night NIght

2005-10-21T21:10:00.000-04:00

CLIMAX

This weekend

If Your IN Toronto Be there.....

I'll be there snapping pics for soon to be launched everything gay in Toronto Web site....

every gay boy and super cool strait person will be there.......

2005-10-18T15:51:00.000-04:00

Hey all!!!!

Life is good I'm happy and busy....

Been a sex machine the past month..Hey I guess it has something to do with being happy NO?

Ok one thing I need advice about......

I want to start my own web site business so to speak....Promotions...Clubs parties...pics you name it... Plus my services....

I now have several major clients in the USA and Canada its time to go big....

Where do I start should I do it myself...I'm a bit web savvy but not enough I think?

I have friends who do this for a living? Any advice would be very help full...

I'm taking control no more free bees from me in the community....

Watch out You all...

I'm on to the next step....

The fire has been lit and its hot......

Clubs here in Toronto that I support....Comeing Soon....

What I'm listening to

A Love Bizarre, So Phat!, remix heaven 2005

Shake That (Extended Mix), Scooter, Definitive TranceChill 1

Angels, Andre Visior, Trance Arena 5...

California Dreamin' (Tek House Single), Royal Gigolos, remix heaven 2005

Another Chance, Roger Sanchez, The Very Best Euphoric Funky House Breakdown CD2

Britney Spears - Toxic (Breakbeat Remix)

John Legend - No Ordinary People (Bootleg Remix - DStoreMix Radio rip)

Buenos Aires 2002 A!O Doo Mee, Madonna

And for sure you want to keep up with all the hottest Toronto gay club DJ's

At Man Candy....

a few of them are friends of mine so check em out

especially DJ TK one of Toronto's finest...Hey and she DJ's at Spa XS to one of the only female DJ's that does that....

Later peoples...

Hugz around the world....

Ps don't forget to look at some of the new links to the right....

Plus there is always one of my favorite oh so delicious Bloggers Chad Fox....First on my list every day do lick!! opps I mean read.....

2005-10-11T09:54:00.000-04:00

Well Hi Ya all?.....

In computer (blogger) land....What can I say....I'm a bad boy, muscles are sore in all the right places....Brain is aching for love.....That's about it....

I trust we all had a good holiday weekend north and south of the 49th....And around the world if applicable to your local....I was a very bad boy on Saturday....Friday and the rest of the weekend was low key....Not because I wanted it to be, but me body just wont let me go out more than one night a week or so....

Busy...Don't want to be....Just not into it anymore! Is that wrong? Well it's my reality! Yes <-$$$ & ?...I know but still when is it the way I want??? all the time!!! could be if I really wanted! soon I say soon........People start taking me serious....Not you in Blogger land....I mean how long will they keep my down...This dam little boys club I tell you...I'm almost thinking I don't want to be a part of it...Hey I know? I'm going to start my own club....Fuck! Now I'm inspired...My own club....I'm on the way I know soon....Lets see who should I let be in the club!

Ok

Of to build my empire...

Hugz to all my friends here in TO and beyond

2005-10-03T15:30:00.000-04:00

Ok moved again....

Out the place I was....

Not a good move I made the place I was at was to much...The room mate is a meth head...Way so much than I had known before I m oved in....So out a there and now in a great place....More to come about the new place....No more public housing....Yah HOO this building has a pool and a gym I plan on using asap.....

the new boy didn't work out turns out he still loves his ex who happens to be his room mate....Hmmm oh well two in one month...Lets see what happens with the next one I'm sure there will be one winter is coming and its hook up[ time for the season soon....Not that I ever fall into that group a guys but the way things are going who can tell....

I'm outz

two moths a laundry being done today....I tell yah I need a hose boy.....Or maid.....

Cheers

later

2005-09-27T14:01:00.000-04:00

Hey all ever think about getting married? Kids?

Hmm to be young again...does every young gay man dream of such things...its so strange when you talk to younger guys how much you see your self at the same age...Its refreshing.....The thing is I don't look or act my age...I'm trying sometimes? more so the past few years...When does it make sense?...I keep thinking it's getting easier...then a hit it the path strikes me back...

Hmmm is it the secret to find a man and settle down...to be happy with some one...Its funny every time I'm with someone I get so distracted and confused....I hope to meet someone who can balance life and relationship with work and responsibility...I find most guys want so much of my time I get lost in the mix....

The new guy seems so real it could be scary but I'm going to try again...I think I deserve to share my life....I've let my self be alone for the past few years...I like the Idea of relationships...be it a month or a few weeks..I'm learning each time and I hope, that is I can only hope if this one doesn't work..it takes me closer to the next one working to the ultimate goal that is to share, love! live life...give, share, grow! get lost in each other and just feel...No more emptyness, what a concept? ones self to another...

OK I'm on track...

life IS LOOKING GOOD..its a day to day thing for me....

Hugz

2005-09-26T23:00:00.000-04:00

HI all

short and to the point post...

Single, boy was a user and a fraud....Helped him but he was not wanting my help couldn't let him bring me down...short of it drug problem, lied about being at baths for days...Hmmm didn't he think a guy who is in promotions who knows everyone in Toronto would find out? Silly boy...thing is I was turned on by it and wouldn't of cared, I only cared about being lied to...I'm into open relationships...or not depends on the Guy...

Move was bad, moving again at end of week...More about that another day....Lets just say I don't feel safe where I am now I had a good Idea what I was getting into but was wrong how severe the step down I was taking in living department...You do what you have to but this was the low of the lowest of places....

I'm very happy to say I'm going to be staying with a dear friend who at the end of next month is going to move into a two bedroom penthouse so I can live with him...Yah hoo...finally a place I deserve to live in...I'm so happy about this....

Survived the Birthday...Thank YOu all for the kind wishes...Was at a hot sex party for a day or so...Hmmmmm the thing is I met another cute young 21 boy...6 foot dark hair blue eyes and get this he is way into me thinks I'm hot real hot...I'm into him big time my dream boy looks...the age thing is not important but I tell you It works....We will see....Hmm two young boys this month...whats that all about? to think I'm 32 now to...

busy as I can be lots on the go.....I'll try to post more often...

anyone notice the hits toped 40 000 WOW that is a small city!

2005-09-16T20:27:00.000-04:00

Two days and its 32...Man when I think about it I never thought I would make it till 30 so I'm 2 years up on it....Still crazy...Life is chaotic...Keeps me strong......Getting busy...Hey I'm a survivor....

Peace hugs...

My mind is with the southern USA we are all there.....You will rebuild bigger and of course more fabulous....

Hugz...Love...Peace

2005-09-12T18:33:00.000-04:00

I met a guy...The thing is I've known him for 4+ years....He is 10 years younger than me...I think I'm in love with him......There has always been an attraction between us......We where together a few moths ago but just hooked up again a few weeks ago.....We have much in common in the health department.....In fact I'm there to support him while he is coming to terms with the news any gay guy dreads....I feel him so much....I can only let him know he is not going to dye....I care and give him my self to cry on listen to him just be there...I'm giving what ever I can....Wow this is the feeling that can only be found once in a blue moon you know that longing to be with him when your apart...When your mind is drifting only thoughts of him are there......Its been a brutal few weeks...I've cried a few times, gained a true love.....Moved...Lost a few friends....But all and all I've come out stronger in the end

And the new guy is so hot to...Its such a good feeling to be actually physically attracted to your bo......When he touches me there are sparks everywhere....Its been so long......I'm going slow, going to nurture this one.....Give and take.....And then give even more...Making sure neither of us get lost in each other, gain strength and grow with each other....Its a new thing for me and its about time....

I'm outz.....

PS its my 32 B-day on the 18th

2005-09-12T15:32:00.000-04:00

IM back its been a few weeks!

Did you all miss me?

Just wanted to let you all know I'm still alive will update more in the next few days..

Hugz

2005-08-29T11:54:00.000-04:00

Ok of to the salon to see my stylist to fix the bits of hair that are now falling of my head....Oh man Ok the fact I grew up and or spent most summers with my Grandmother in her hair salon she owned for thirty plus years in a small British Columbia city named Merritt... Doesn't mean I can do hair colouring...Well I try but I'm so much in the public eye that the last thing I need is the peoples saying good god look at him where did he get that done..or look he has lost it...I'm known for my crazy hair doos and this one is going to be the best yet....Pink slash red side ways pho Mohawk with dark blood red around the sides and back to the neck..I should start taking pics of the does...

Ok of to spend 120 and fix my hair...Dam its expensive but worth it...

Oh and then its time to move no rush I can do it over the next few days...
And in the same building..That rocks the month...The best move ever no 200 moving scamer to bring me a few blocks...

The forecast is...Times are looking up....

What's on my playlist today/I-pod

Dirrty Slave 4 U (DJ Tom E D Remix)
Buenos Aires 2002 A!O Doo Mee
You're a Superstar [City of Love Club Mix]
The First Revelation (Astrix R
..Britney Spears - Toxic (Breakbeat Remix)
Love Me Love Me (DJ Ross Exten

Ok I'm outz

Have a great day all Much luv sent to you all.....

2005-08-28T15:49:00.000-04:00

The hair is now red (very red) with pink hi lights WOW....A bit fried but hey I love it when I can't run my fingers through my hair.....

Of to the Shower and then to church to have a bath in Gay....

OUTZ

2005-08-28T11:08:00.001-04:00

Something is not going with the bloglinker.....The other day I noticed my links where missing they came back now some are there and others are not...I think I may stop using it for good and find another link service....Any one have an Idea other than Blogroll?

moving tomorrow should I start packing or colour my hair and go out and look at boys....Hmmmmm the later C'mon who packs but last minute?

Go out and walk after the red hair dye is done...That's my day...Feels good to say I'll go out and walk most days I feel like just staying in bed....At least the past few months....

Later

one other thing....The new place will be offline for a week...Ouch a week..That will be the longest time I've ever been offline....For years at least 5 years....The concept is disturbing to me.....I should be able to make a post or two from A internet cafe...We will see....I'm going to miss my blog big time...

2005-08-25T02:53:00.000-04:00

There is a strange feeling going on in my head....That moving feeling....

five days till M day.....

I'm excited and nervous....Its not like I'm going far I still can't get my mind around how easy it was to find a place and in the same building....

I just got up now after sleeping of and on since 6pm my sleep pattern is messed up....So if I stay up till tomorrow night I will be able to go to sleep and get this in order I hope...But no it seems the more I get tired the less I'm able to sleep..Hmmm

2005-08-24T04:28:00.000-04:00

Hey all...Sorry for the down mood on the blog the past few weeks....

Its so up and down for me....I'm looking forward to moving....I really do believe it will be good to be out of where I am now...Its a nice place but not to clean....it could be, but then I would be doing all the cleaning..Not! When you have lived with room mates for 15 years and your 31 you know if you start that.. your the live in maid.....Plus I clean its hotel standards! five star..the rom-mate wipes the top of the counter with a wet paper towwel and says the bathroom is cleaned please....God why can't I meet room mates who like to clean there bodies in a clean bath room.....

So I was at the doc he says Hmm test came back good on the pancreas so where does this go from here?...I'm still in pain its getting worse and he wants to now decrease the pain meds..great, I don't understand so for the next week I'll be in more pain because some test shows I'm not showing signs of pancreatitis....well its still there and it fucking hurts like a sun of a bitch...

try having gas bad bad gas that is multiplied by a 100 it can get that bad...not so much this past few months since the operations but its there and it impedes my day makes me not want to get out a bed and there for get more depressed....Shouldn't it be my choice to be on pain meds or not...If there is pain and then I take a pill and no pain the answer seems obvious take the pill...now I have been seeing this doc every week for years now 100s of times..I'm taken 1000's of morphine pills for this pain....I'm now on 15mg twice a day from 400 plus a day a few months ago...I've really had no problem getting down to that dose...In fact I feel more alive the less I take but then there is the pain...Now If I had to choose between being addicted to morphine and the pain I would take the pills...besides I'm already addicted to them....when I realize I may not have enough of them for the day I start to panic its very bad news....I'm now on celebrex as well for the joint pain doesn't seem to be working.....

so I think I will be looking into a new doc to see about my pancreas....could I have side effects from the operations..did he do something wrong that he wouldn't tell me last time I saw him when he told me to eat more freaking fiber...oh man that pissed me off...I'm in this pain and you want me to eat more fiber..I eat lots a fiber I eat more fruit and veggies than everyone I know for crist sake...I think I've seen my room mate eat fruit 5 times or so in a year...I've lived with people who cringe at fresh food...It kills me..If I didn't fuck up my health I would be stronger than ever now....I still look like a teen for bloody sake...good for a gay man in his 30's yes but not when you try to get some one to take you serious...my own doctors secretary the other day thought I was 23...I'm like didn't you look at my file...Hmmm

Ok I'm going on a ramble here.....

So I didn't call the guy, I'm thinking after the mess I made at his house he was turned of me big time...or maybe he is waiting for me to call I don't know..I'll give it one more day...then again I was the one always calling him so....I'm thinking he is not a phone kind a guy.......

Thinking about Mexico again...friends of mine who do the big Latin Fever party down there have invited me the past few years to go there and work for with them....I think I should go this year.....I want to get away it could be good... live down there for a month or so with my friends make some cash come back when winter is over...like they do...Its perfect....the only thing is my health I'm scared to death of something going wrong down there......

I was talking with a friend who says he has a friend who is sic down there and how he wants to bring hiv meds to him.....I wish I could help but I need the ones I take....anyone out there who has extra meds let me know and lets see if we can get them to this guy he is not doing well...Its such a shame to think all I have to do is go to the drug store show a card and get 1000's worth of drugs for free to stop from dyeing and this guy only because of where he is has to die....email me if you can help I will send you in the right direction....

So its getting cold here in Toronto again it seems like summer just started and its now two shirt at night and socks weather already..Dam winter is fast here to come..or fall..there doesn't seem to be one here its warm then cold...every one here are way to funny when it comes to patios and restaurants though...it will be frosty and they are still trying to sit out side...I can't help but to giggle at them...coming from a place where summer starts in April May....to here where its June...In fact in Vancouver some patios are open all year...

Ok I'm on a roll here one last thing I'm adding links to my site every few days it seems... So take a look at them....plus link them on your site if you like them.....I can't believe how many hits I'm getting a day....its getting busy around here...close to 2300 a month...that's something I'd say...to read about my crazy life too.. couldn't figure out why but hey..Luv ya all the same no mater if you like to look at my craziness...I won't hold it against ya all...

Peace luv all that happy stuff

Night Night wow long time since I signed of with that one....

All The Best

2005-08-23T10:11:00.000-04:00

a two day post here...sorry if its hard to read but hey! that wouldn't be me if it wasn't.....

Drama drama..I say....

trouble in the hiarcy once again....the guys at the top I wish they would all just get along.....I'm thinking in every city the gay community has is group of gay businessmen who are the forces behind the night life culture......the thing is there is room for everyone to a point when you start getting power hungry or disrespectful you may find the accomplishments you have made will be told to you that they can be taken away at anytime, you see like any community there are a few who actually run everything...this I know!

I guess you pick your side wisely and move on, sometimes I wonder though me being on the out side of this all looking in trying to make it by if its something I want to be a part of, yes the money could be very good put is it worth it the power the recognition....Hmmm well money talks we will see...I'm for now being careful and observing steps are small for now till the storm clears.....

Slept for an hour or so dam aches and pains...I've not let this out yet but I've been having severe joint pain in my wrists and ankles neck and well every joint to a degree....had a few tests X-rays...ultra sound results of the old pancreas as well results due at the DOc today.....I'm thinking side affects from something I've done or am doing.....prescription or otherwise....could it be to good that I don't have side affects from the meds

Ok I am sort of seeing this guy, we got together last week I had had a few drinks and we started to have sex things went way wrong....a bit messy if you know what I mean....nuff said about that....I freaked me being the Bottom was not an every day thing yes I know what to do and if Im able and so on I guess the few martinis where my down fall that night....I stormed out a his home all embarrassed by he situation trust me it was not good......He hugged me good by asked me why I won't let him in I said I didn't want to hurt him...and that's that I haven't got a call and not called my self....the thing is I like the guy he is by far one of the most interesting men I have ever known intimately....The one thing about him is he has made me think about things I never have before and it scared the hell out a me....spiritual stuff Wicca that's what he is into....Not to sure where I go from here...Can't sleep starting to fell emotionally drained....wondering what to do if I should call or not....Did he decide I was to much after my poor show of behavior....after all he was actually pursuing me! admittedly I was eager to let him....Ok I am a mess I have only slept for an hour at a time a few times the past few days...in part to this and in part to my joint pains....stress about moving...money problems and well just plain life....

You see when I close my eyes it floods in regret ...missed opportunities..what ifs....like tonight every time I tried to sleep I thought about that night last week what I did...what I could have done and so on.....thinking did this guy cast some spell on me, after all he is seriously into the wicca....Not that I really believe in it but I tell you I've been thinking allot about it....the whole thing is strongly ingrained in me to be a none believer...but this guy has sparked my interest...something no one has ever done before....I want to know if its the man or what he represents or both...can I accept al that is him..do I have to...or is it just a thing of the past...So I will call today and set things to rest or see where they go from here...I must admit I'm really hoping he says come over see me I miss you..something like that....I was on my best behavior the past few weeks since I met him and realized I would have to draw the line on clubs and the like to keep him interested...something I would give up in minute for the right guy trust me...oh in a second.......

Ok missed my doc appointment yesterday.....not the first time I've done that.....I so need a new phone with an day timer built in....

have the worst time with doc appointment....going to find out if I have arthritis My pancreas has more cysts on it...and tell my doc I'm a mess can't sleep, emotions are all over the map....maybe try anti-depressants again? big maybe

Not to mention some guy jumped of my building yesterday...I saw a big fight lots a yelling....about 5am sunday night.....My roommate tells me she saw a dead body yesterday morning by the building the cops where here last night to talk....I declined to get involved....JUSt a few weeks ago I was an half hour away from being in the middle of a triple shooting next door to the guys home who I'm dating or not the one I talked about above...two where murdered just after I walked home from his house a bullet hit his neighbors home.....there was a shooting next to a building that several friends of mine live in (a murder) last week.....walked by the scene on my way to the ultrasound......My friend who died lived in the building next to the shooting....What a month in my hood I tell ya...I feel like leaving for few week...

lets see what happens after I move.....my rent is 125 less so that's good.....same building....you can't beat that in the mega city....Toronto or should I say the shooting city....the cops are going crazy everyone is talking about this......the things is the guns are coming up from the USA they say.....what can you do...its sad to see so many mothers on tv crying about there loved ones.....they are all black guys to...killing each other...they all seem to be from the Caribbean to....not sure why that is its sad...I hope they figure it out...and wish they would stop coming into my hood and killing each other........If you must shoot each other do it the subburbs and stay out a my gaybourhood....thank You very much....

2005-08-20T22:22:00.000-04:00

What is on my I-Pod today

O'Rox Disko(Drums)Peter Presta & Little Carlos,
The First Revelation (Astrix R Alien Project ,
among many others look for them I like them you should to!

THE 4400

Have you seen this show? I freaking luv it...I have not seen a show since the X files that made me tingle all over when I watch it....The concept is brilliant totally appeals to my generation, the computer geek in us all the Sci Fi fan has to check this out......Look up this site to find the first season and the the this years...Rest assured my PC is busy the pipe is bludgeoning with bits as I eagerly await the flood of data to besiege my PC so I can watch ever episode when I get home late tonight.....

What else do I watch lots of Sargate SG1 and who wouldn't love Stargate Atlantis.....

Ok I'm a sci fi techno geek and I'm proud of it...I just don't get it when someone says to me " I don't get that kind a show" or "it's silly" C'mon people this is an accumulation of so many minds the concepts are out there the reality of it is hard to believe time travel but if you open you mind you may see that it's not so out of this world....Who knows where we will be in 200 years look how far we have come this past 100 years really look I know you here this but think think hard about it...Ah now you see the possibilities seem endless....It gives me hope that there will be big medical break threw to........

was in the hospital the past few days to try to get my pancreas healthy..Its sort a like detox in a way...They starve me it heals I Leave....I know it's a big thing but when you have been there for months over the past few years it's not a big deal U get used to it....If I had to pay for it that would be different I would be dead by now for sure....Thank goodness for public health care...I'm truly blessed to be Canadian.... Or am I just started to think what if I was more accountable for my actions, what is I didn't have the ability to just go to the hospital anytime I wanted and get any drug I needed for me without worrying about money? Hmmm it seems cruel but it does seem to be a valid observation....

Life is what you make it to bad we all don't know how to make it!....The fucked thing is I do, the other fucked thing is I just like to have fun way to much for my owne good.......so you see I'm fucked no matter what I do or am I...ah I just don't know anymore..........hey at least I'm being true to my self... Baby whats your pleasure, lets get it started....lets go...I'm down for what ever....as long as your mine tinight...<-a song I was just listening to... And if you're reading this and you know me please stop or at least tell me you are...I have a few friends who read this and do tell me they do......Its only fare that if you are looking in on me I should know so you at least don't find a nasty comment about you on here! Cuz trust me the bitch in me is starting to feel like her nasty head is about to come back after several years in retirement...... Too many have made too much of my back and I'm tired of it!......Look for me to be running the show or at least trying to.......

2005-08-20T22:15:00.000-04:00

Absolute reality...

I think there for I am...

Do you ever get curious about this....

What if there is more to what you believe to be true and the only step to find it is to open you mind....

2005-08-15T20:22:00.000-04:00

I'm sad a friend of mine just died a week ago...One of my good friends boyfriends was found dead on his sofa when he came home.....My friend left the city to go to the funeral and now is in rehab from what I understand, another friend is dyeing of HIV...Another friend died last year...And several guys I see every now and then have died...It makes me think where have so many gone I don't see anymore that I used to see all the time....This particular guy that passed away this week I saw al the time infact we where always flirting I had an eye for him would have dated him if things had worked out in the right way....

Oh boy I have not faced this before so its hard to deal with, I have known that this would be an eventual thing seen as so many people I know are poz....Its serious there are so many guys in Toronto who are poz in fact I found out three friends of mine are now the past year and the list keeps growing.....

My thoughts are with them and everyone who is affected by this, we will beat it one day...I wonder why this is gettingt to this point I thought we learned from he past, I'm sure this is happening in every big city in the World the next generation is going through the same thing now that happened in the 80's how sad....

2005-08-15T12:24:00.000-04:00

New site Blog I found in the past week I like

Shades of Gray

2005-08-15T11:23:00.000-04:00

Ahhh

Today I look forward to getting probed once again....

But today its a fun kind or at least not so intrusive to me....Ultrasound of the pancreas.....

its strange last time I started to get hard when she squirted all the gel on my belly and rubbed it around with the machine...

it freaked me out, total not something I would admit to a women..It was totally primal the rubbing was arousing....

strange I know...

I'm outz

Hugz

2005-08-14T16:18:00.000-04:00

Well after a very tumultuous last few months Yes people months....

I have been just down, and it took a big nasty hit to the bottom to wake me up again...Its funny I feel good today except for my sore neck I'm back to the long days of summer spreading the love or the word of the party as I like to say in not so many words......Busy as can be long days I tell you all!

It feels good to be doing something and I need to be out there the people must be seen to further my image as a mover and shaker in a good way not all tired and sick looking, ....Thank goodness for Mac studio fix and my sun tanning shop hey 90$ unlimited tanning can't beat that....

So I may have found a place with a women again go figure? She is cool though younger and I can relate more to that, I'd say she is mid twenties way closer than where I am now with a women who is late forties and reminds me of my grandmother....So we will see plus its in the building can't go wrong there......How perfect is that move a few floor down, so close and convenient...Lets hope its not a bad move considering it is to good to be true..Plus 125 cheaper...I had a good idea I was paying to much here...Hmmm owe well at least someone got to eat good food after the rent was paid....Hint to others ask the room mate to see a rent receipt before you move
in.....

What I'm listening today....

A friend of mine a DJ...Or up and coming DJ....I have several DJ friends this one just got his first gig in the Village here in Toronto...Not sure what his name is yet will let you know....Its trance heavy trance that I know....

Hmmmm you see that box at the top of my site with adds...Well it seems that I was asked to agree to new terms a few weeks ago when I logged on to the site,,,it seems the money I was making is now only going to be paid if I hit 100 a month...Well since I had about 2$ last month it seems my dreams of being an internet dot com business man are dashed at least in this way....I never really thought it would pay out or at least not for a few years....But hey its not about that here,,,really it isn't some blogs are designed for money making...Do it if you must but it makes me think how much of the content is real and if that is a good thing to be doing I think not....

2005-08-11T04:50:00.000-04:00

My last post I deleted shame on me for resorting to what I had asked....

this post was from a few days ago I was going to hold it back but why stop now....My feeling as they are raw and unscripted take me for who I am or not this is me 100% feeling thought ideas emotions everything....

Do you ever think what would make you happy? I do sometimes, the thing that makes me cry is that I don't enough not far enough....I don't cry enough..I don't laugh enough...I don't tell my friends how much I love them enough....I don't do so many things I should...

Dam its shocking to someone like me when You start to ask your self will I ever be able to do these things...what will it take to make me happy and truely live my life the way I want to....when will it be just another day, I come home I kiss someone I love...have a normal life...then I think what is normal...this life should be this way...I must deserve all this...there is fate or destiny..I don't think so I often wonder...in fact I think the reason why I don't have what I want is because so often I don't think there is any reason or that I don't deserve to be happy...I shut people out, I let peole drift out of my life, I do everything I can to make those around me want to not be around me...

It all comes down to letting those around in I'm thinking being myself....I haven't been that way for years in fact it all started when I came out....this crazy life, I think back about what I was doing then that made me happy....#1 I had good friends who I talked to every day...#2 I had a man in my life I loved 100% with every fiber of my being....#3 I was in university....#4 I was happy.....

For the past several years since I found out I was poz I have really not thought I could ever get any of that back....I want it so bad it burns! Its killing me....just to be happy with life and where things are going...I think its money well this past few months or year that has been very plentyfull....sex nope....friends I have pushed them all away .....So a man a lover a boyfrind....go back to school...What will it take...

then by chance I'm out one night I meet this guy we have only been around each other for a relatively short time....I can say I like him....the thing he has done for me that I am stunned by has reminded me that maybee just mabee someone could see through the walls I put up a bit or at least want to try and get to know me...look past the poz thing....Its so hard to ever feel that I will ever have something to offer someone...the thing is I really think is that I just couldn't bare letting people in knowing that I have to face so much there are definate
strugles and ends that are clearly defined in my future, some say be more pestimiostic, there will be a cure, I know my body I feel things, I'm strong but I wonder will I make it till then and truely if that day will come...

I have the worst time dealing with myself let alone anyone else....really how could I let someone in knowing that I'm only going to hurt them in the long run....pain is something I've spent my entire life running from and trying to escape....

Should I live this way...the realist in me says let others decide what they want, let them decide to take risks...the thing is I truely really feel that when I meet someone fall in love with them that I could never truely let go, I could never risk hurting someone the way I have been with hiv...its not easy and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy....

Dam men I think I avoid them because letting them and feeling are to interrelated, I just don't want to feel its simple....I just don't want to be hurt..I do that enough to myself.....

I know reading this you may think well he is awefull what a glumey pesismistic guy...well there are other sides to this I don't share them here that much but I'll try now....

another side say yes let someone in take a risk be happy....do it why not you survived other let downs....you can't get there unless you take a risk this could be a risk worth takeing....I have lots to offer, just waiting for someone to notice...well you see I'm trying, any of ya all remember 1st year in brain study 101 right a list of all the good things and the bad things you think about your self....well as per I fit the mold my bad list is long...but hey I tried I'm trying I'm fighting I'm a surviver....and cute to so I we will see....You know I had to put that bit in in the end just to keep in line with my critics in bloging land....

I'm outz

feeling hyper emotional and very vulnerable, but with a gleam in my eye I'm seeing something bright in the future the sun could be comeing up on this soul again to warm it up after a long long cold spell....

2005-08-10T05:10:00.000-04:00

I like this guy.....how we have all been there.....

2005-08-10T00:37:00.000-04:00

Rick Mercer's Blog

A blog I think you could only find a Canadian would do....

I find this blog fascinating....Check it out!

Jason Kenney
: Marxist Leninist.
particularly this post is way to funny...Oh the way we are....

2005-08-09T23:04:00.000-04:00

Sometimes I get very curious who reads this?

I'm up to 82 a day sometimes more....

246 posts wow!!!!!! Here at the not so X party boy the past few months....Did I say that well its nothing like I used to be so X could still apply but not as firmly I'd say....The hard core meth and the like days are long past me My old Vancouver days....I'm often curious how many of the guys I used to hang with are still alive I tell you after my months in Hospital I bet many of them are long gone....Its funny well not funny but this all makes me think about the guy I moved to Toronto with....He like I've said here before moved to Montreal days after we go here back in 99, I saw him of and on as he moved here a few years ago...Remember the one I'm sure made me poz....He had a terrible car wreck when he left me here on the streets of Toronto on his way to Montreal, it was so sad to see him with a Cain hobbling down the street....I haven't seen him for months I think he must have gone back to Montreal or is dead who know...It was something when I realized he was poz way back then and lied to me about it to see him here at the local Aids committee...Not that I believe in street justice or anything like that but its hard when you are dealt a blow like he gave me....In fact I have been on the other side like I said I gave my ex of three year hiv...Don't want to go there ever again.....Safe but I tell you all so many guys don't seem to care or want to get it..Make me poz is something I've heard way to many times....I'm thinking about starting a 30 something support group for poz guys...I've met so many the past few months are have several friends who have reached out to me because I'm more open about it than they are they feel safe talking to me..I met this guy a few weeks ago who was in so much need to talk about it it was painful for him to let it out..I was there for him He let it all out and it was good, so many guys are scared to tell there friends and or family and don't want to be seen at the local help charities...SO we need dome kind of anonymous group that can meet every once in a while and talk about are feeling are anger especially to let that out so it doesn't consume us and lead top destructive behavior..So many guys I find including my self just give up on life when they find out and get deeper in there destructive ways....I'm going to go to ACT and talk to them about this Idea I know every one who works there that I need to know seen as I help them out lots....We will see..Any input would be very welcome on here...

Vancouver is in my thoughts lots the past few weeks since my long lost bud Ross from Van called me and emailed me...I tried calling him tonight we are going to talk soon I can feel it....Hugz to you for reaching out to me it mean lots Ross....

I bet it would take days to read them all....I wonder how many have read them all....I bet it would be interesting to meet people who have been reading about me for a long time...I wonder if any of them would be good dating material...Or boyfriends...Not that I'm looking now or really ever was but I'm curious about that blogger gay love could it happen I'm sure it has..Any stories about that send them my way?

My bloglinker is down but should be back up soon Don't worry all my linky love blog friends I'll switch them soon if they don't get it up and running soon....

We do have a good ring going here there are 20 or so blogs that I get hits from every day and vice versa....The gay X blog ring...Some are blogs that where inspired by me and blogs that inspired me two plus years ago now....

I am in awe at the numbers 600+ a week and growing....Sometimes I wonder why so many are doing a google for X party or X gay and the like are they looking for my site...It make sense I don't know....

Anyway all said and done I don't regret this blog one bit...Although I have a feeling one day I may but it will have been worth it regardless.....

So the guy I've been seeing the past week is going...I was drinking a bit too much just trying to deal with the stress of moving and meeting him...He really seem to be into me and not giving up like the past few had fast when they started to know the real me...My health issues and crazy life are hard to bring into any relationship including friends whom I've been very much ignoring...I am making a point to try to see them more and more my friends I need them they bring balance to my life and remind me I'm not alone....As much as I feel usually...

Go figure the week I meet a man whom I am very into I get five count them big huge pimples two on my right cheek and three on my upper left neck plus a few on the back of my neck...Stress and not washing well when you sleep for days it's not a good thing for pimples I guess...I'm over it and now on the move mode. I've been in countless times over my life including as a kid dozens of times with my mother and then foster homes..Nothing I'm not used to it just hits hard at this age not again I think...Please but hey so is life and this move is going to be a good one....I can feel it.....

You know one thing this blog has done is made me or giving me an almost ability to type its crazy I used to be the one finger kind of typist now I can use two hands I still have to look at the key board but its wild I never ever thought I would be able to type now I can...A blog side affect that I'm happy about ....

I'm outz

peace and love...

2005-08-05T04:05:00.000-04:00

It's funny just when things are going terribly wrong I meet this great guy Wednesday night.....HE is super sexy lives in a beautiful home....askes me home...we have a hot night....he is cool with me being poz...says he want to see me again...looking for a boyfriend and thinks I'm hot sexy....boyfriend material!!! at least from what he sees so far.....It was strange it was like he knows things about me? Said he is psychic? Hmm I wonder sometimes if I have or will ever meet someone who has been reading my blog.....We talked, It just so happens that he is looking for a roommate...has a huge home with several rooms that he rents out....So strange how things fall into place...I had an option to move in with a guy I know but he is trouble into drugs too much and hangs at the local hustler bar....At first when I was stressed and after a few cocktails at friends the day I found out I had to move I got desperate and started calling everyone I know....he offered his place, I said yes in a drunken state but now after thinking I cannot he wants me to pay his rent this month and in exchange have a place, could move in any time but no....he is to young and I just can't risk my future on a chance it could work I need certainties...liveing with a boy who can't even pay his subsidized rent of 250 I think would be a big mistake....

On a bright note the guy I met is french sexy accent super hot....his place looks like something out a magazine, I would say Victorian super clean and just a dream home I am so going to look into this....Not sure if I want to be a live in boyfriend...I got the feeling he was looking for that....Don't know I do like him lets see what happens I'm thinking.....

So remember my friend I talked about in a post back in may? Ross, I had asked in the post if he ever reads this to e mail me well he did....It was a very special and heart warming to here from him, We where like brother back in the early years when I was fresh out a the closet....I really hope we keep in contact and get to see each other again soon.....

I have another friend of mine who lives in Vancouver who I don't here from enough, I hope he is ok last I talked to him he was staying with his mother, and not happy...I miss him so much...He lived here we where very close he went back to Vancouver.....B if you read this call me I miss you a bunch and worry about you....

this is a post from a few days ago I'm home lost was just at his place

2005-08-02T11:50:00.000-04:00

See I told you all...

Got up today found a check from my room mate....

Last months rent....

Time to move...

Any way living with a women has been not easy the small sutilties and differing emotions are hard to put together at times....I admit I've been hard to live with ....But Its like I never can bring a guy home the thought of her on the other side of the wall just ruined it....Very thin walls so I was sure to have someone listening....One year I've had four guys over...Twice during the day when she was not home....Hence my many trips to the baths...Could save a fortune if they where out a the picture its 20$ Been at least 10+ times the past few months.

....Oh boy a part of me is happy to move but there is that big part that comes with it looking....I have to look being the problem....I hate moving done it so many times I can't remember how many..There is the stress of not finding a place....Its happened before to me....Homeless is not fun...I'm sure I'll find something...I told the roommate I'm stressed depressed, thought she understood..Nope A friend not, expected some understanding...Not!

You know I don't talk about this much but my father owns a farm in British Columbia....Interior very small place a village in fact....I lived with him for three months when I was 16 or so....Some times I think I want to go there and stay with him I know I could....But I think I would die of boredom....I do Know that When I do get really sick...I may go there to finish my journey....It makes sense begins ending....

Fuck I'm so pissed, when it fucks up it goes in torrents for me....Work issues are screwed now....I'm in debt to many over pride....And now I loose my apartment...I don't think I can take much more of this, as is I can't get out a bed....Now I have to move I think Its about my time soon I really don't know If things keep going like this I don't know how much more I can take....Its all relative and much of it my fault or wrong doing but when when will I learn this life's lessons.....

A good friend of mine is in Vancouver now visiting, wish I could be there I miss it so much...Toronto is just a bore to me now....I have nothing here, a few friends but no one who really knows me.....I think some out here in Blog land know me more than anyone I see on a daily basis.....

2005-07-31T11:07:00.000-04:00

Every few years I go into this mode where I reevaluate everything in my life...It most often is triggered by a period of stress or depression...Both I'm suffering from the past month....I'm not happy with every aspect of my life.....My health being key to everything....My latest cd4 count 140!!! been that way for months...Viral load undetectable or below 50. At least I'm happy about that...That's good but I feel like crap....I can't focus and am not motivated at all.....All I seem to be able to is go out a few times a week sleep for days and do it all over again....I can't keep my room clean and my self for that matter.....

Its time for a big change....I can feel it coming...I may be forced into it or take the steps my self...Not sure what it will be but its big...And I'm almost there.....It could be a move across the county, to Montreal...Not sure or a move to a new apartment, A drastic change in life, my behavior...I don't know...I'm thinking about going on anti depression meds again to see if its that first and go from there....

I'm sorry to anyone who reads this who knows me personally and has been affected by my latest round of life......I think I'm on an outward step from this IT seems to be every few months I go through this I don't know why but its really hard to keep it together right now....

I'm outz

2005-07-27T14:54:00.000-04:00

Ok I have a definite few fetishes and or looks I find sexy one of them being motor bikes or motor cross..You know the look fast speed bikes.....I don't know what it is

I've got my self a pair or Joe Rocket leather bike pants that zip all the way up the side and are hot but I need a jacket for the look and to wear around this fall winter....

I've bid on this one on Ebay

What do you think I really like the look and being a guy who likes the not so normal look part of my persona/look you could say would really match with this jacket....I have no intension of going on a sports bike..But wouldn't turn down a ride....

Hot you think? Let me know Its going to cost me a bit to get the thing after customs exchange and so on...

I'm just drooling with anticipation to get it on me....You know that feeling, it makes you hard excited hot sexual pumped all at the same time....Reminded me of the time I tried on my friends room mates jock years ago...He was a semi pro khockey player...the smell the taste ouch I was so turned on I hit the ceiling with that load Ouch...Mmmmm those where the days....

2005-07-27T14:21:00.000-04:00

le grand circuit gears up!
On August 12 a team of sixty hikers and crew will leave a checkpoint in Quebec??s Mont Tremblant Provincial Park taking them on a journey intended to help thousands in Canada and abroad. They are working at both the local and global levels in order to stem the devastating spread of HIV/AIDS everywhere.

Le Grant Circuit Foundation is a not-for-profit federally-registered charity whose mission is to promote innovative fundraising events that create new sources revenue, helping both local and global groups preserver in the fight against HIV/AIDS. The Foundation??s mandate is to identify and raise funds for the HIV/AIDS-related organisations most in need.
Sponsor a Hiker

I was sent an email about this from CANFAR an
organizationon I help out some times....

2005-07-27T12:58:00.000-04:00

Hey all

So I've been away for a few weeks....As some of you have come to figure its not a good sign....

Lets just say I've been a bit down as of late....Up to some old bad habits and I mean old and bad....

So after sorting things out yet again I have to really get it together so I decide the other day to just worry about what I can fix and what I can't to move on from....

Last post I was going on about The Folsom Fair North

Wow
Busy day... Got home its 11:30pm
It started with torrential rain...
the sun broke threw the clouds around 2, 3 PM and the crowds grew by the hour...
are booth was in the #1 spot beside the main stage we had a head on view of the entire show.... I'd say we where given one of the best locations in the fair....
the go go boys where busy all day handing out flyers towels and stickers...
I'd say all in all it was a very good day...
The talent was huge and the dance area was packed up till the end 11pm at the fair
The men who put on the Fair did a good job....

I'd say plan on being there next year....It was in a park surrounded by 100+ year old oak trees and the like simply gorgeous leather fetish gay straight and everything in between, nature in the heart of the Mega City....T-Dot

I'm outz

ps Have you seen this guys Blog....One a the only ones I read every week......

2005-07-12T16:50:00.000-04:00

I'm feeling blog Happy today.....Yah happy blogging....

Hello you! And yes you too!!! All them out there who stop bye to look in on me and my crazy but sexy existence.....

Now say hi you all....

Peace, hugs and a big wet kisses......

I'm outz

Dawg days a summer here 40+c its a hot out here, My tan is looking oh so lickable....

Hold on captain where approaching 3500, wow what a ride.....

Your my Nightmare, I can see I can see, in the night in the night, I'm your nightmare...See all I need is your on my mind nothing else matters but time flying by tonight I got you I need I got you I want you I feel you I want you because your my nightmare in the night in the night you follow me where ever I go...I can see you folow me where ever I go I can see I can see

where I go I can see I can see I can see

IN the night in the night In the night In the night.....

I'm your nightmare

"you just met me......Crazy ahhhh" In the night In the night.....

In the night I follow You follow you follow you follow you follow...In the night you follow me where ever I go I can see where I go....

I can see I can see.....

see all I need is your on my mind nothing else matters I got you I need you I want you I feel you I need you because your my nightmare

From the Song nightmare DJ I.C.O.N. Techno 2005 cd1
a taste of my ipod something new here look back for more taste musical bits....
you can find this song on winmx or your fave downing client....

2005-07-12T16:15:00.000-04:00

I'm thinking about getting a tattoo, why not something really freaking out there hot sexy and sorta gay....I'm thinking + on the back of my neck...What do you all think? But not in this form the plus sign in an other language.....I think its cool and would just save me so much grief if I just have it branded on the back of my neck that I"m poz....I'm very excited about this idea and it will happen....Any suggestions??? Send them to my email gaycanadianxpartyboy@hotmail.com

Positive Tattoos Bare HIV Status By Design

USA Today (08/22/94) P. 1D
Snead, Elizabeth

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
HIV tattoos are the latest method HIV-positive people have been using to disclose their condition to friends, family, and the general public. According to Richard Perez-Feria, editor of Poz magazine, the tattoos are "very empowering." "They are pushing people out of that last closet," he says. Health experts say tattooing presents no dangers, provided that proper hygiene is observed.

All is well

2005-07-12T14:50:00.000-04:00

So its all OK...After a few weeks of stress related nothingness... More actually self loathing and abuse of my body like only a gay boy knows how to do....Well it wasn't that bad I did go out a few times and managed to have a few very hot sex nights, one involved a sling at My fave Steam Works...Oh boy the guy in the sling just took it like I like my men very eager, with endurance...And to stur it up a few hot guys got up behind me and took me on a ride to...

And then there is the other night I was on line and was invited over to a guys place, I get there and there are three of them...I was offered a glass of wine and a bottle of poppers how civilized...After a few minutes I was undressed and fucking my brains out till the next afternoon...I tell you some new things I did was WS well not new but a different form of it...This guy liked to get pissed up the but and other places so I obliged it was hot, I don't think my favorite if I'm going to do WS I prefer it to go down the throat, in the but it was a tad messy....Not something I do all the time, I was invited back so I must have impressed with my top skills....All this sex I've been having as of late I'm building up some nice stomach muscles and losing my little bit of fat I had, you can barely pinch a few centimeters...

This weekend its FOLSOM FAIR NORTH III

As many of you know I have helped out with this the past few years and this year is no different, IF you think back to My event I did for COLT studios last year for the premiere of Buckleroos and my most recent client MH )hook up site) this is only a bit of the connections I've made through the fair....A very good event ran by some very special guys.....

This year several of my friends are DJing and performing plus hosting So it's a Family a fair, IN fact my preferred Drag Queen I hire to host my events Miss Conception will host, She has been a part of many things I'm involved with love her....

Looking forward to seeing Kids on TV again the lead John is such a hottie wouldn't mind running into him at the Steam Works....Into being the preverbal word....

Take a listen here to Kids on TV

He is the model for the Folsom Fair North main party Agitator, so sexy

I still haven't done the interview for them for a mag out a LA a friend asked me to do I should look into that project again and get it going......

This year I'm looking forward to seeing some people from past years maybe a few guys I hooked up with and then there are the guys from COLT plus I will be hosting a both for MH looking forward to that I'm hiring go-go boys to assist me now how could that be wrong almost naked men doing my bidding..I'm not complaining...Should be fun fun and well HOT....I foresee a few sex parties that weekend I think I may be at one or two my self if all works well...

So out of the blue I have streaked into the lime light again...Look out my take over is on track slowly but surely never ending always thinking with out a doubt with style....

I'm booking an apointment to go to a punk salon to get my hair done, a friened of mine who edits fashion telivision here at city tv tells me there is a place that all the celebs go to and alternative types to get there stlyes. right now I have a fab do its bleached in the front top is red and then a bleeced out undershaved little bit of a fag tag...remember those its funny I got it done for Pride and I'm seeing others now with them.....I'm going to get my next do done ispired bt the Canadian flag red and white and leafey..Hmmmm I should start posting pics on here some day for ya all to see....semi sudo mohawk still is the styleing preferance

Hey when you go to the site for KIDS ON TV check out the mix my Boy George.....I here he was a scream here in Toronto for pride....Breakdance Hunx, Breakdances and sucks cock...Yah

2005-07-07T11:54:00.000-04:00

As I sit here at my computer and try to shut out the outside city buzz, the normal sounds like police and ambulance and fire sirens....The thing is I can't just like I can't everythime a plane flies low over the city...My mind instantly wonders to the thought of terror or what has happen...It way be a fleeting thought but its there none the less, this bothers me as they have reached me my life...Seeing it on TV in far of lands, and of course 9-11 that was oh to close has changed us me....I can't help but feel anger towards those who are the terrorists....They have ruined my peace, I admit its not that big on the grand scale my uncomfortably when herring an siren or a plane over head, or is it? Have they got to us are they getting what they set out to do...Do I even know what it is they are trying to do the so called terrorists...

enough this is what they want, to get to me, us....I guess I can only not let them get to me and continue my life...And once again condemn the attacks in London and send my love and compassion to the ones this horrific attacks has touched...

Peace

2005-07-07T09:37:00.000-04:00

To the bombings in London I say this

My sincerest sympathy's go out to England, being in the commonwealth I feel a deepest hurt when any fellow country under the crown is dealt a blow like this...I can only hope that we come out of this stronger and with more resolve to protect our way of life and keep out those who would hurt us....How dare they who ever they are...I don't understand nor will I feel any of us those they are trying to strike down...How could we when they would do such a thing , how could they think we would want to even try to listen to them or to at least understand....

Solidarity with my English brothers for ever....

I come out of this thinking when will they hit here in Canada? I'm scared every time I'm on the Subway here in Toronto, when on it I feel and intense urge to get of the train...Scary I couldn't imagine what they must be feeling now especial when you have to take it I only do when I must very infrequently....

I'm outz

2005-07-05T16:47:00.000-04:00

Depressed, not happy...When will I learn.....

So not going the way I want now! up to no good and in all the wrong places.....

2005-07-01T12:51:00.000-04:00

SO its now been five days past pride and I feel ok now, I've not had a good run of it for some reason under stress I go crazy and get scatter brained...

I may have lost one of my valued client's because of some very stupid acts on my part...If I have! It will not be good but I will move on and see what is next as it is a new project has just came to me...So I will remain busy but still
this one is a very big one that I would say any single gay man in the USA would know and log onto all the time to find guys...coulndn't give a hint clearer without saying it....The thing is it was so dam hot here and I had several other obligations I could only be in so many places.

SO now it's on to porn and more porn promos...Have to love that go from major gay hook up site to porn and more porn....

I've been told I will have a few weeks of and that I will or may be replaced from the hook up site....I would be very sad but move on...I do know I will miss the opportunity and the extra income.....Plus the stature in the community that came along with it being able to do all kinds of events for them is very exciting I hope they reconsider and give me another chance...After all I have up till then put in 200% far beyond what was asked for...We will see....

Oh boy speaking about boys the one I met last Monday has been on my mind To bad he is on his way to the UK in a week or so...I do plan to see him again....Wow I am still recovering in certain parts of the body from that hot night of intense and I mean deep nasty over and over again fucking...Mmmm it could not have been a more satisfying way to end the week...Plus he is hot six foot, blue eyes and dark hair...

I think I will invite him out tonight for a night on the town.....And then a party in my bed....Oh I think I may be in lust or heat I do not know..I feel a sex marathon coming on..I seem to go through a spurt where I am a big slut and then nothing..For months...

on another note my right thumb has been numb for a few days now I am not sure what wrong Its like the nerve is damaged and when I put pressure on feels worse it
doesn't hurt but there is something wrong the feeling you get when you go to the dentist...Still some feeling, I am really worried because I work with my hands to a pint and this is not good, could it be HIV related, HIV med related, or pancreas related...Fuck if it's not all that it's my ackeing neck and so on the joys of being old...it seems like only months ago I was in Vancouver that young gay man innocent and wide eyed with opportunity with not a care in the world but where I was going that night and who I would be with..My friends at my side all of us with a lust for life and a passion for men the bars the party..You name it, its all lost it for me now I feel sad now usually and its just not there I really think that I missed something....

I shall get over it I am just depressed, I am doing a good job of keeping out a the bars considering the past few days...In past times like this I would have been drunk and hi to numb my failures and forget my pains....Instead I am letting it out here...

Ok I've been in bed the past few days its time to get on with it and pick up the pieces dust of and get out there and be the leader in this community that I am...

It's just to bad that in a moment of weakness this past weekend I had to hurt my interests in such a way, most often I am the only one affected by a bad move on my part but this time it was a big fuck up and there is I am afraid no moving back...I should add though that the job did get done and the company was very well represented in Toronto for Pride...We will see what happens....

I'm outz

I survived

2005-06-29T13:06:00.000-04:00

Oh boy with it being 40+c the past week wow what a pride I survived with only the satisfaction of having done my job well and made many people happy including my last hour sex date that lasted 10+ hours..I'm sore everywhere all my muscles are ravaged including my but and cock

I met this amazing bottom boy from Ireland with the cutest accent that took my very willing dick for hour after hour....

On that note....

Today is an historical day in Canada, My Federal Parliament is expected to vote today by 8pm on the same sex marriage bill, it's going to pass they say even though the liberal party is a minority government...
Canada the third country in the World to do this, that is something to celebrate....its been legal for a while on the provincial level and through the courts so this kinda ties it all up...

Canada a place where rights are respected no matter who you are, a cheer for us is in order today...

look for updates here on the vote I will be following it closely today....

more about my pride later....

All The Best

I'm outz

UPDATE

the Bill has passed the vote in parliament is expected to become law in month once it passes the senate...The senate being only a formality...So it is now legal in all parts of Canada

I myself as a gay man have never really thought about the idea of marriage but I must admit it is something to be proud of and today I very proud to be Canadian more so than ever....

Who knows I may meet that special guy and it could happen the import thing is I have the option to do so....